Righteous Paths

Just a Reminder...

2010-07-01T16:35:00.001+09:30

That I'm now posting over at http://thepartythatneverquits.blogspot.com.

Go read about how Amy was born, to start with. It's her 4th birthday.

Transition

2010-06-27T16:22:00.005+09:30

I opened this blog to get away from Xanga.

I wasn't sure exactly what I would do with it, or how. I just knew that xanga wasn't really doing what it used to...

I thought this was the place, the feel of what I wanted.

But it isn't.

It's calm here. It's... not reflective. I've almost been trying to be something I'm not...

Yes, I think deep, and yes I love my God.

But I'm also loud. And funny. And colourful. And completely self depreciating.

And I do so love to laugh. I love to laugh with people.

I don't think this place invited laughter.

So, for the last couple of days, I've been playing around with templates and new names. I threw a couple around, but settled with one that I think explains things... me...my life... a little better.

So, head on over...the party is now officially begun...

GEORGIA

2010-06-25T14:18:00.000+09:30

I absolutely LOVE it when people have no idea what they are giving away.

I love it even more when people have no idea what they are selling.

Yes, I'm an opportunist.

I did a quick circuit of a local op-shop on Wednesday while I was there dropping off some stuff, and there, lying out in the open on a table, was a rag doll.

A Kate Finn rag-doll.

In fact, one very similar to this Kate Finn Rag doll.

Please note the price.

I love these dolls. So beautifully and well made. We purchased a doll for Bethany when she went into hospital to have surgery, and we have another on layby for Amy for Christmas. I'll be ordering one to put aside for Cora when she's older.

I don't think I have ever moved so fast, or litterally snatched something off a table at an op-shop before.

I went to the counter, and heard angels sing.

I had another, good quality dolly (who's dress is easily washed) to give to my girls...

For a dollar.

This is the Song That Never Ends

2010-06-24T01:15:00.000+09:30

Grace.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-23T08:10:00.005+09:30

MONDAY MEANDERINGS DOWN MEMORY LANE ~The Make-up Bag

2010-06-21T23:20:00.009+09:30

When I was small, about 6, I had a makeup bag.

I remember it blue... mainly because Grover and the Cookie Monster were blue, and the fabric it was made out of had Sesame Street characters all over it.

The first thing that comes to mind, as I recall this old friend, is the way it smelled. I loved the smell. Of course, now I realise that it was the distinct aroma of makeup way past it's use by date, but still it permiates lovely to my nostalgia.

If you had opened my make up bag, and reached inside it, you would have removed your hand all covered over in a pinky-brown film... the sides were coated with it, evidence of missing lids.

Had you been brave enough to use the products in there, you would have had choices between blue and green purlescent eyeshaddows (so beautiful), mini, tester sized lipsticks in coral, (so cute!) purple eyeliner and orange blush. You could have used gluggy nail polish, liquid eyeliner with a brush missing half its bristles, or pressed powder to your face using pads with six different shades clearly visible.

I know now that it was where mum put all her old makeup instead of throwing it out, but I didn't care. I had my own 'war paint'... just like my mummy.

I can only imagine what my mother thought when I came down all "pretty" from my bedroom. I can't remember if she would tell me I was beautiful, or if she said nothing. I know she never told me to wash it off. Mum never curbed my creativity. Never stopped me from being a girly... I was very rarely girly in anything else. I hated to wear pink, loathed having my hair brushed, and could play as hard and rough as a boy.

But I loved my makeup bag.

I am not clear on what happened to the tote full of girlish ideas of pretty. I think it was one of the things that "went missing" when we moved interstate.

Strangely, even now that I have fresh makeup in a glass jar; stuff that smells of new attractiveness and glides on effortlessly, I find I still miss the shades from my girlishness. There is no distinct smell that greets me as I draw it from its place in my bathroom.

No longer do I paint and powder and pretend When I am Big. Now, I conceal and curl and contour, trying to recapture lost youth; a way to find and reclaim the girl with her unchallenged conviction that she is beautiful.

~*~

Join me in my meanderings into nostalgia...

What from your childhood do you look back on fondly?

Srsly?

2010-06-18T10:35:00.004+09:30

I turned, um, thirty at the beginning of this year.

I'm ok with it now.

But I've been musing on it. It's a strange age. I'm in a juxtaposition of feeling a bizarre mixture of too old for some things, and not mature enough for others.

I don't feel 30. I still feel 19.

I'm the worship co-ordinator at our church. I'm a mother of six children, and a partner/wife of 13 years. My husband and I own three cars. We pay rent. We have bills. Responsibility.

But I still think it's fun to have sleepovers with girlfriends. I still find farts funny. I'm very rarely serious. Adam and I watch stand up comedians on youtube on a regular basis. I still want to flit all over the globe.

I'm finding it difficult to comprehend that people are actually taking me seriously now. I don't feel that I'm any more mature, really, than I was a decade ago. And yet, I also look at some dreams and yearnings that I have and think that I'm too old for those now. I've wasted time.

Two weekends ago, we had prophets at our church.

Mind. Blowing.

Adam and I were blessed to be prophesied over. I bawled.

One of the parts I have been meditating over has been that we (Adam and I) are called to work with Youth. The Lord spoke to me in such a way that He made me realise in my heart, not just my head, that His timing is perfect.

Joy!

My dreams and yearnings that are still so dear to me, are still God's heart for me. They will happen. I have not wasted years, I have not missed the jump. While I may think that I'm a bit old in years to work with my beloved teenagers, in my heart, I'm still right there with them... but with the added benefit life know-how.

I am not immature... I have a youthful heart.

I am not old... I have a wealth of experience.

ROOM 101

2010-06-12T14:14:00.002+09:30

Not the scary one... the funny one.

Adam and I only discovered this hillarious show this morning, and its premise is that "celebrities were invited to discuss their pet hates and persuade the host to consign them to a fate worse than death in Room 101"

A few of the things we came across were the 80's, Disney, Chris deBurgh, short people and Mendelevium.

I asked Adam what would be on his list, and after some thought he came up with

social media (like, the people who have a twitter, fb, blog(s), myspace, linkedin, jabber blah blah blah)
p0rn
curling
Steriotypical Americans (of which we know none. Just so you know.)

The show gives the guests 5 things, but Adam had to go to work.

I don't have many things that I have a total abhorance for, but I think my selections would be (keeping in mind that you need to be able to joke about it, so human trafficking and childhood cancer is out):

Spiders
Prosti-tots (you know, the 12 year old little girls dressed like streetwalkers)
Brussels Sprouts
Crocs
Cameron Diaz

What about you? I'd love to see the things that you would cast into the room.

TOW-MAY-TOE/ TOM-ART-OH

2010-06-11T15:47:00.005+09:30

I was watching this hillariousness, and it struck me that there are lots of words that we Australians pronounce 'funny' to Americans.

Like, for example, daughter. We say Daw-da. You say Dah-ter

Or, route. We say root, you say r-ow-t.

We call ourselves Ozzies... you mispronounce it Ossies

We Aussies speak in "text" as one of my favourite comedians puts it. A service station is a "servo", car registration is "rego", a barbeque is a "barbie" and so on and so forth.

A few people have asked for a video of me (and Adam) talking. We're working on it. For some reason, our computer has dumped the web-cam, so we have to get a camcorder and a tripod.

Good thing tax time is only a couple of months away.

But we will, I promise.

So... what would you like to hear us say? What about us would you like to know? It could be anything funny, real, stupid, serious, whatever... I'll write it all down and we'll discuss it all for your viewing pleasure and, I'm sure, amusement.

We'll attempt to deliver.

We're really silly though.

Consider youreslves forewarned.

FOR MY SIXTH, AT TEN WEEKS

2010-06-09T23:18:00.007+09:30

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo

But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

~ Ruth Hulbert Hamilton "Song for a Fift Child"~

BRONZE, POTTERY, LINEN & CLEMANTIS

2010-06-07T13:36:00.008+09:30

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose,

topaz or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,

and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:

I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
but this, in which there is no I or you,

so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

~Pablo Neruda ... Sonnet 17~

Happy 8th Wedding anniversary, my love.

You're still the only one that feels like home.

RED NOSE DAY

2010-06-04T09:57:00.006+09:30

As a mother, there is nothing that petrifies me more than S.I.D.S

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Just writing it hurts my heart.

When I was 7, the reverend of our church and his wife, dear friends of my parents, lost their 9 1/2 week old son, James, to S.I.D.S.

It was heartbreaking.

James himself I don't remember, thought I'm sure I met him. You don't think to memorise babies "just in case".

But.

I remember the screaming silence of their house. I remember the "Please do not Disturb" sign on their front door. I remember my mother, devastated... she had loaned them the bassinette James was sleeping in.

I remember Alice... their three year old daughter. So very blonde...

And I remember when Elizabeth was born afterwards... and the machines they had hooked up to her cot that would go off if she didn't draw breath for a certain time frame. I remember the heaviness of unmentioned fear.

Paul Arnott, four years after the death of his only son James, wrote a book to help other parents who have to walk this horrific time. It sits on my bookshelf... a constant reminder of this dear little boy my family knew.

Two decades later, I heard about Angie's nephew Luke, who died at 10 weeks... only 7 weeks after sweet Audrey went to Jesus.

I hate how there is no human reason for these children to die. They just do. And it terrifies me.

Everyday, when I head to the cradle of my babe, I have to ignore the niggle of maybe this time. I know I and my children are not immune to the possibility.

No child is.

And that's why it sucks.

And that is also why there are foundations that are raising money to fund research.

Here in Australia, it's Sids and Kids. Since their conception, and the way they have raised awareness to certain contributing factors to 'cot death', the number of deaths has plummeted.

Awesome.

Their main way of raising money for this research is Red Nose Day. Every year, the last Friday in June is the day you go around looking like a dork with a clown nose on your face. Or on your car. Or, even, as they did a couple of years ago, on your house.

I am not making this up.

Since I don't leave my house very much, I chose not to buy a red nose. However, for the last three years, I have purchased magnets for my car, write James' and Luke's names on them, and leave them on my car all year. By the time the next June rolls around it's just in time... by then they have faded completely :)

It's becoming a tradition for us as a family... the yearly swapping of the noses, explaining again why sometimes babies die, but this is how we remember them and taking photos.

I like it.

For information on agencies and foundations in your area that work in the field of infant death research, click HERE.

SHINER

2010-06-02T18:04:00.004+09:30

Eli came a-croppa two nights ago, taking a spectacular stage dive off the couch and landing face first onto a small chest of drawers. Of course, like the good, concered parent I am, I made sure I'd cuddled him and made sure his eye still worked etc etc...

And then tried to get photos, because it had already come up bruised, the foretaste of a wikid black eye.

Adam thought it sick, but I know you all know better.

Anyway, we here round these parts know how hard it is to get Eli to sit still for anything. Especially photos.

So today, two days after he did it, I finally decided to hold him down.

This is the best of two seperate attempts.

Please notice the strategy of Food as Bribery.

Please do not notice the self art.

Then, I had a stroke of genius.

I strapped him into his car seat.

It still took about eleventy three photos to get this one.

I'd say this is the first of many...

But it isn't.

He's already had at least 3.

Prayer Chain

2010-05-28T09:01:00.002+09:30

At our church (and most likely yours) we have a "Prayer Chain", a phonecall based ministry that works on the premiss of "get prayer request, pray, then call the next person on the list to do the same".

At the present moment, the blogland twitterverse has been called to prayer action for a friend of a friend. Crystal Renaud, founder of Dirty Girls Ministries has asked for prayer for her friend Amy... a 24 year old dancer who suffered a severe stroke last Sunday.

She writes:

On Sunday, May 23, Amy Wooddell suffered a stroke and underwent 7.5 hours of surgery to remove the clotting in her basil artery. Additionally they found that her right vertebral artery was torn and was repaired with a stint. She awoke responsive and could even whisper her own name. However, a few hours later her brain began to bleed resulting in an emergency procedure to relieve inner cranial pressure. On Monday, May 24 she was comatose with brain function of only 3 (normal is 15) and it was uncertain that she would survive.

But she did.

On Tuesday, May 25, Amy was considered in stable condition and brain activity began to increase (between 5-7) but was still in and out of consciousness. Inner-cranial pressure had dropped from high 20s on Sunday night down to 1 on Tuesday night. She is responding through blinking (made direct eye contact with Jonny (her husband) on Tuesday night and on Wednesday morning blinked 5 times in response to “Amy, blink a bunch of times if you want Jonny to buy you lots of diamonds” and 3 times for “I love you”). And she is now breathing on her own 8 out of 18 breaths a minute.

But she’s been unable to move her limbs. A recent MRA is showing some blood in near her brain stem which is hindering motor skill movement.

Amy is only 24 years old and has been married to Jonny for 4 months. She is also an accomplished dancer.

While we are seeing God’s healing touch on Amy, we know she has a long ways to go and any permanent damage is still unknown. We are asking for your prayers for Amy’s complete healing.

More information can be found HERE or by following her husband’s updates on twitter.

Blank

2010-05-27T10:21:00.005+09:30

Well, not really. Lots of thoughts and ideas, but no way of knowing if I'll be able to write them down coherently. I may have to write some drafts first.

I don't really want this to be another "mom blog". I want people to know me, the way I think, the way I feel, the way I over analyze, how I can pick one word out of a bible verse and wonder why they used that one, because it makes it so much deeper... I want to be authentic, I want this place to be somewhere people enjoy being, I want it to be fun and light-hearted, but with depth...

I want people to know God resides here.

And yet, I don't know exactly how. I read some amazing blogs. People who write beautifully. Some people are side splittingly funny. Some make me think. Others make me cry every time. Some people do all of the above.

Who am I in this online community?

I have the upside of being, essentially, a foreigner... in that most people who I read are American. I use words that make them scratch their heads, I sound funny and eat weird food combinations. So there's that, but is it enough?

Where do I fit? What does my voice sound like here? What's my niche? Would staying as random and flit about-y as I am naturally work in blogland, or do I need to have a cohesive and coherent platform?

(Anyone else have "free to be me" running in their head about now?)

And of course, now I'm second guessing myself, and whether I just sound like an attention junkie. Why am I even blogging?

Because I love the people here. Truly. And I want to be a part of the awesome things I know God has planned for everyone involved. If there is anything that excites me to the point of wanting to jump out of my skin, it's the thought of what we here in the blogland twitterverse have coming up in the next few years. What is our God up to?? It seems that all of a sudden, without my even trying, in the last few months, I have come across, and fallen into relationship with some of the most amazing, authentic, God honouring, exciting, anointed, world shaking history makers, and I feel something shifting, moving, and preparing.

I want to be a part of it.

But it feels just out of my reach, because I just don't know what my part in it is.

I don't want to miss out.

I Love a Sunburnt Country...

2010-05-25T08:54:00.000+09:30

Photo credits: My friend Renee Orr (unless otherwise noted)

A land of sweeping plains...

Of ragged mountain ranges...

Of droughts and flooding rains.

Photo Credit: Australian Archives

Photo Credit: Brad Fleet

I love her far horizons...

I love her jewel-sea...

Photo mine

Her beauty and her terror...

Photo mine

The wide brown land for me!

(Stanza 2 of "My Country" by Dorothea McKellar)

Eli...

2010-05-24T10:41:00.003+09:30

Never sits still.

Ever.

He has attitude.

He is determined.

He's silly.

Into everything.

But sometimes, he'll stop, give you attention

(I get a kiss every morning)

And then, sometimes, as an added bonus, he'll give me...

...this

to keep forever.

My Kid is Awesome.

2010-05-20T10:28:00.005+09:30

Adam started Operation: Skinny-Up on Monday, and yesterday was his first work out session with my brother, who is a trained PT for the Navy.

He's a bit buff.

Adam called me on the way home and said three words

"He's a bastard."

Anyway, he got home and went promptly to the shower, sitting down in it with the stream of water flowing over him.

Eli, thinking that Daddy was having a bath, figured he wasn't doing it right, after seeing me have a few, and bought him a book.

How is that for awesomesauce?

Brown Paper Packages Tied Up With String...

2010-05-19T17:02:00.004+09:30

These...

Are now on their way here, wrapped in love & frindship.

"Time or distance cannot touch

the friendships of the heart"

~Anon

This, that and the other...

2010-05-18T11:31:00.004+09:30

I have no idea what was up with Blogger yesterday, but every time I tried to fix the spacing it got worse. Hopefully today will be better.

I was wondering... you know how over there on the left under that dapper and debonair photo of The Hubsand are external links to my Xanga from when I wrote out the A Thousand Times thingie I did?

Well, what would you say to me transferring it all over to here, much the same way? Once a month, there'd bee 100 things listed. I'd do it all in one hit, but for some reason, I can't copy/paste here, and it takes a.long.time. to write them all out :)

Just a thought. Would you be interested?

Also, I'm going to start a Aussie-ism Thesaurus type thing up, if I can decide which is the best way to do it. Should I, once a week cover a word, a phrase and a behaviour and put them under a category, or should I just keep adding to a single page in alphabetical order? What do you think?

I pick my camera up in a fortnight (two weeks, for the un-colonial) so I'll be able to take UP TO DATE!! pictures of The Multitude, and even show you a little of where I live. I love where I live. It's prettiful, in a rugged sort of way.

Adam began his new diet/workout It's-Time-To-Get-Skinny regime today. He's attempted this many times in the past, but this time, I truly believe he's serious about it. He's excited. He sat down with my brother, who is a P.T for the Navy and worked out (ha! get it?!) an exercise plan that will not only produce results quickly, but not over do it and cause problems which will set him back. Stress fractures are a high possibility for Adam at the moment if he does too much all at once, so I'm glad Rob is taking that into consideration. The last thing we need is for Adam to lose heart this time.

I've been having fun buying up new t-shirts for Adam to wear once he has lost his weight. He likes the cartoon ones, so it's been so fun trying to find ones that suit his personality, and in-joke status for us. So far, I've found Monty Python, Seseme Street, The Muppets, Transformers... all I need is Astro Boy and Smurfs.

Ummm.... this is just a brain dump post, can you tell?

My baby is adorable.

My twoandahalf year old is seriously pushing boundaries.

My oh-so-nearly 4 year old is beautiful... but becoming increasingly shrill in direct response to the twoandahalf year old.

My 7.2 year old is recovering well from surgery, even if it does sound like someone is pinching her nose when she talks.

My 7.1 year old is AT.I.TUDE.

My just-about 10 year old is hormonal and everything that goes along with it.

I need to tidy bedrooms and clean the bathroom.

I'll be more interesting tomorrow.

What's in a name?

2010-05-17T08:49:00.011+09:30

I read in a book once that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but I've never been able to believe it. I don't believe a rose would be
as nice if it was called a thistle or a skunk cabbage.
~Anne Shirley {L.M Montgomery}
(Anne of Green Gables)

I haven't always been particular about what names meant. In all honestly "we" named our first three children because we liked the names. We kinda looked at the meaning, but it wasn't the driving force.

If your wondering why I have the word we in quotations, it's because I don't believe we named our children at all. The bible clearly states that the Lord knew us before we were born and called us.

I'm taking an educated guess and suggesting it was more than an "Oi! You! Wotchername!"

Names in the bible were a very important thing. It's why they were always changing their names. They realised that what their name meant, it was who they were, or, at least, who they felt themselves to be.

Think when Ben Oni became Benjamin and Naomi became Mara for example.

Rachel gave birth on the road, as she and Jacob and their tribe were moving on to Bethel. Rachel, we know, had a long history of infertility and miscarriage. Her sister, Lea, had borne Jacob six sons and one recognised daughter from her own womb, and two through her maid-servant. Rachel herself had only one son, Joseph. Then, through complications in Benjamin's birth, she died. She must have realised it, however, because with her dying breath, she named this son Ben Oni, which means Son of my Sorrow. How sad she must have been... not only that she had only managed two biological sons (she also had two sons through her maid-servant), but now she wasn't going to be there to watch them grow up. Thankfully, Jacob didn't want his son yolked with such a thing, and renamed him Benjamin, which means Son of My Right Hand. He did, infact, grow up to be a very beloved son.

Naomi had lost everything. Her husband. Her sons. And with them, her security. So, she took off back to where she and her husband had left because of a famine. When she got there, the people were all like, "Oh my, is that Naomi?" And, seeing as though Naomi means pleasant, she told them to no longer call her that, but instead, to call her Mara, because "the Lord has made my life bitter." I don't think she meant it very seriously though, because she's still reffered to as Naomi throughout.

The Lord also changed peoples names, as they moved from the old into the new.

Abram became Abraham. From son to father.

Jacob became Israel. From supplanter to God's warrior.

Simon became Peter. From listening to stone.

Saul became Paul. From borrowed to humble.

I strongly believe now, that what the names of your children are, they become. Think about it. Daily, you are saying their name. The bible tells us that out of the mouth comes life, death, blessing and cursing. The name we give our children is the single most spoken word over their life. And as their parents, our words carry a tremendous amount of weight. I remember overhearing a mother call to her daughter... Rebel. I've often wondered what she turned out like.

I'm so glad that God loves my children more than me. While Adam and I weren't thinking about what we would be speaking over our children for the rest of their lives, He was. And the names he gave them make me wonder what, exactly, He has planned for them.

My eldest son is Troy Alexander. Which, if you put the definitions of both his names together, his name means foot soldier defending men. I believe that Troy will be on the ground, in the midst of kingdom battle, saving souls and discipling.

I had twins next, but Drew William is older by a very. vital. seven. minutes, so I always mention him first. The Lord called him man warrior with will, desire and helmet, protection. It's a biggie! I think Drew, when he really comes to Christ, it will be with all his heart. I've still to wrap my head around all the things that the Father sees in him.

Bethany Alana is my first daughter, and we had such trouble thinking of a name. And when we finally realised that we had no idea what we finally settled on meant, we went looking. There are many things about her first name that were obvious, and we did know... It was in Bethany where Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, and it was from Bethany He ascended into heaven. That alone was sufficient, but we wanted to know what we were speaking into her life. When we read that her name meant House of figs, we were baffled. Especially after the soldier and warrior we had. A little extra research showed us that, in the bible, the fig tree was the first tree mentioned by name after the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Figs are mentioned 266 times and are in all but 24 books of the bible, from Genesis, where Adam and Eve used fig leaves to create their first garments to Revelation, where they are used in an end-times prophesy. Figs were used as a sign of peace and prosperity, and were used for medicinal purposes, to cure infection. They were an essential source of food, as they dried and kept well for long periods. We are still trying to piece together what this actually means for Bethany herself. Her middle name is easier... Alana means rock. Is this house of figs built on a firm foundation? Is she a steadfast believer? We shall see.

A couple of years after the twins were born, Adam and I separated for 5 months. Thanks to the Lord and a whole other story I may get into at a later time, we reconciled and we rededicated ourselves to God. When we fell pregnant, the names of our children became a little more important to us.

Amy Ruth is the most delightful thing the Lord blessed us with. She really was the icing on the cake of our reconciliation. She has been a constant source of joy. Her name means Beloved Friend. And she is. In actual fact, Troy named Amy. When we told him we were having a baby, he immediately announced "It's a girl, and her name is Amy." We were unable to move him from this. And, to him, she truly is beloved. They have a beautiful relationshp.

When I only had Troy and the twins, I remember distinctly hearing from God. I was driving down a main road here, and I heard so clearly "You will have a son. His name is Eli Benjamin."

ooooh kay...

We weren't planning on having any more. I mentioned it to Adam, and we stashed it away.

When we fell pregnant with Amy, we were convinced this was the boy the Lord had spoken of. No sonogropher could get a clear picture, either, so the entire pregnancy we had no idea what we were having, but we were pretty sure we knew.

Obviously, we didn't, but that's neither here nor there.

Just 6 short months after Amy graced us with her presence, the Lord gave us Eli. Nine months later, when we held him, we looked into the face of this little, tiny baby, and could only imagine how God was going to use this "highest son of my right hand". From our study, we are aware of a little detail... pretty well every child God has "announced", so to speak, before their birth, went on to do some pretty amazing things.

And lastly, as I mentioned yesterday, there is Cora Isabella. Girl dedicated to God. I cannot tell you how much I love her name. I am so glad I'll be speaking this over her life.

It's not a magic trick. It's not positive thinking. It's certainly not a "secret".

It's truth, and I'm taking it seriously.

The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat it's fruit
~Proverbs 18:21

ahem Hi.

2010-05-15T10:37:00.011+09:30

*wave*

Been a while, huh?

I had a baby.

She's yummy.

Her name is Cora Isabella... Girl Dedicated to God.

May she always be so.

By us.

By her.

She is delightful.

And squidgy.

Just Ducking In...

2009-12-25T03:19:00.002+09:30

To let you know we've been without a computer for the better part of the week, and are borrowing a power cable at the moment. LONG story.

But most importantly, to those of you who stumble over here and read my little bits and bobs, I wish you the very merriest of Christmases, filled with the love and joy of our Saviours birth, family, friends and copious amounts of good food.

And remember, from Andy Rooney, one of my most favourite Christmas quotes EVER...

"One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly."

Remember what's important.

See you on the other side.

Much love.

Troy 1-100

2009-12-15T11:42:00.004+09:30

The things I love about Troy are...

1. He is my first born
2. He is my eldest son
3. He is so tender hearted
4. He is brave
5. He is tenacious
6. He is amazingly good at sports
7. He is a huge help to me
8. His blue, blue eyes
9. His developing sense of humour
10. How excited he was we were expecting baby number 6
11. He changes nappies... number ones AND number twos
12. He makes breakfast for the kids most mornings
13. How hard he tries
14. His cool sense of style
15. The way he still wants to kiss me in public, even though he's 9
16. How much he's taught me about patience
17. That he doesn't hold it against me when I fail
18. He fetches and carries with little complaining
19. He'll eat pretty much anything
20. He loves to sing
21. He loves to tinker on the piano
22. He adores his dad
23. He is incredibly loving
24. He doesn't like swearing
25. He loves to read
26. He loves to draw
27. He loves to write
28. He loves to pray
29. That he copes so well without a defined routine at home
30. He's loyal
31. He loves his daddy's football team
32. He's a stickler for rules
33. He is exceptionally good at maths
34. The way he just wants to "be with" me sometimes
35. He LOVES Hillsong ;)
36. He loves to help out at church
37. How chuffed he was that he is officially on the "collecting the tithe" roster
38. He'll give anything a go
39. How he refuses to be defined by his autism
40. That he never gave up at school... he just kept slogging on through till he got it
41. He loves the water
42. He asks permission most of the time
43. He's just a really good looking kid!
44. He has incredibly thick hair
45. He'll probably be taller than Adam when he's fully grown
46. His cute way of phrasing things
47. How he reads to the younger kids
48. He loves animals
49. He is always eager to please
50. He prays for his future wife
51. His concern about Adam's weight
52. He makes his own bed
53. He can do laundry
54. He washes dishes
55. He kisses my hand
56. How he sees things in the clouds
57. He loves to play in the rain
58. He's certainly not afraid of a little dirt
59. He's an awesome big brother
60. He loves to dance
61. He still calls me "mummy"
62. He got all miffy because I decorated the girls room and not the boys
63. He'd much rather sleep in a hammock than a bed
64. He loves word-searches
65. He can play any computer game
66. He can bleed heaps and be fine
67. But the minute he sees someone else bleed, he gets woozy
68. Spiders freak him out a little
69. He worries when I'm hurt
70. He looks super cute in his glasses
71. He doesn't even bother to ask to watch a movie outside of the two ratings he's allowed
72. He thinks my spaghetti bolognaise is the best in the world
73. He likes tuna
74. He makes those little chatterbox paper toys all. the. time
75. He drew a picture of my pregnant sister once, and it was adorable
76. And he called her Aunty Bump for a while
77. He puts the Smallies into their car seats for me
78. He's fascinated by gadgets
79. He wants to be a doctor
80. No... a teacher ;)
81. He loves classical music
82. He wants to give ballet a go
83. Once he's focused, that's it
84. He's got a great arm on him
85. He's a one on one type of kid
86. He's learning how to deal with frustration
87. He can build pretty much anything with Lego
88. He loves spending time with his dad
89. He'd cook more if I let him
90. He'll climb anything
91. He'll jump off anything
92. He loves cushions
93. He'll do pretty much any job for money
94. The way he used to run looking at his shadow
95. The way he endears himself to everyone
96. His high pain threshold
97. The way he doesn't care what people think about him
98. The way he loves to read the Bible
99. He always says "thank you for dinner, that was yummy!"
100. The precious way he knows God.

A Thousand Times, I Love You

2009-12-14T11:14:00.005+09:30

You may see over there on the left under the picture of Adam, there is a list of numbered links.

2 years ago, I embarked on a little endeavour I entitled "A Thousand Times, I Love You".

It started out innocently enough. For Valentines day, I wrote a list of 100 things I loved about Adam. He was so chuffed about it, that I decided to do it again. And from there, it morphed. I figured out that if I wrote 100 things every month until his 30th birthday, I would reach 1,000 individual things.

It was THE best year of our marriage to date.

Amazing what a little positive thinking will do.

I've started making Adam a book of his, using blurb.com, but then my scanner died, and I couldn't save any more photos, then our computer crashed... blah blah blah. Needless to say, it still sits there forlornly, waiting my attention.

I want very much to re post the lists here on blogger, but for some reason, it won't let me copy/paste. So for now, you can read them if you click the links.

Anyway, all this to say that, as you may or may not have gathered, I've struggled with liking my kids the last year or two. The three eldest all have learning delays, and all our frustration levels have peaked. Moving into a house half the size we were in with zero back yard has worn all of our nerves to threads.

I'm thinking I need to think positively about my kids for a while. I'm going to post a list of 100 individual things I love about each child once a month on Mondays and Fridays, just to fit them all in.

Of course, today is a Monday, so I might start tomorrow ;)

All I'm going to need for this project, is a notebook and a pen. New thoughts always struck me about Adam when I was driving, or otherwise occupied.

I have learned.

And you never know. My redirected attitude and focus might just be the making of them.

Or me.

It's Raining, It's Pouring

2009-12-12T13:01:00.002+09:30

We've officially entered cyclone season here, and last night a tropical low passed right over the top of us... dumping a bunch of rain but causing little damage. It made for a lovely cool evening, and today is also incredibly pleasant, even though the rain hasn't let up at all. I love where I live for many reasons. One of those reasons is that I very rarely, if ever hear anyone complain about the rain. We don't see it for 8 months of the year, so we revel in it when it does arrive :)

The rain is set to continue for the next few days, and we are closely watching the low, as it is due to turn into a catagory 1 storm later today and should progress to a 3 in two days time. You too can keep watch, if you wish!

Today, I managed to get the bathroom completely done! It was hard work, and took me 3 hours. I cannot fathom how my children manage to make our walls so putrid. Adam is woking on the kitchen, but he works slower than me, and takes many breaks ;) He went up to the store just now for the first time in as long as I can remember, simply to get out of doing more *grin* He even called his mother. *rolls eyes* LOL!

But we are on track. Sort of. I've washed dried AND put away 4 loads of laundry today, so that makes me feel a bit better about where we are at.

Our electrician friend stopped by to see what he's going to have to get to complete a few jobs we've asked him to do... all our light fixtures are breaking whenever we try to chabge a light bulb... they are over 10 years old, so we figure we'll just change the lot throughout the house. Also, two ceiling fans in The Big Room have broken motors, so they need replacing. I'll be sending my mother an email in the next couple of days asking for her to wire the money through to fix them, as we agreed when she was over here the other month.

My brother also stopped by, with some money for us all for Christmas, as he will be at sea over the holidays. I was so happy... it means I don't have to stress about the food situation! The kids won't notice if there is one less gift for them under the tree... they will notice if there is no ham! :) And wow, is it ever expensive. For a 13lb ham... $84!! I nearly fell over. ANd we have even more people arriving on Christmas day now, so we are going to need it!

The kids are behaving rather well today. Playing together and hardly fighting. This is a miracle from the throne room of heaven if there ever was one :)

(not quite) Mass Mayhem

2009-12-10T17:01:00.002+09:30

Braved the shops on payday today to go do our Christmas shopping. I did ok. Still have a few things to get, but they can be collected next week.

I'm still slogging away at the cleaning, though slowly... I did some of the bathroom done today... it's all scritched out over there on the left... but I think that list will change in the next day or so because Adam and I have declared this weekend "Get It All Done Or Else".

Also known as "The Kids Are Now On Holidays And It's Impossible To Clean With Them At Home All Day Every Day For Six Whole Weeks"

I'm hoping that this little bog o' mine will get more exciting later on... It's been so long since I've kept something like this that I've almost forgotten how to do it. I know I used to attempt deepness and humour... often simultaneously... over on my Xanga... but Xanga is now no longer what it was, and while that makes me sad, I'm hoping this here will become a new place for me to unwravel what's going on in my head, heart and home.

Because I Like Nothing Better Than Deadlines, and the Whooshing Noise They Make as They Go Past.

2009-12-09T13:45:00.008+09:30

Do you think, if I did this:

I'll be more likely to get all that stuff over there on the left done?

Adam has promised to pitch in over the weekend as well, and in the next couple of days so I can get it finished.

I'll have to get batteries for the camera.

And hide them from the kids.

Yes, Well...

2009-12-04T10:39:00.005+09:30

So, cleaning has ground to a standstill pretty much. The washing machine keeps chugging away, but the mountain of clean clothes in our bedroom is reaching all new heights. If I don't get them folded and put away soon, one of two things will happen, to the same end...

A) They will get spread all over the floor, trodden on and have to be washed again without being worn

or

B) The cat will pee on there somewhere, and it'll all have to be washed again without being worn.

However, I have done enough that Adam and I should be able to pull an all nighter, or at least a late one, and have it done this evening.

But I am emotionally exhausted.

November has been CRAZY financially. We had three cars break down. We had registration due... School bond to pay... money lost... money tied up... the girls ballet production costume hire... food (our one shocking habit)... the fridge needed new seals... the utilities bill is due any day now... and so on and so forth.

I am convinced God will provide. This does not mean however, that the month has not worn me down. It also doesn't mean I didn't totally flip out at the customer service chick on the other end of the line today, when I rang in a panic because my card wouldn't work at the ATM.

"It looks as if your card is damaged. I will send you a new one, but it will take 7-14 days. I hope you didn't need any money."

You know the proverbial last straw? That was it. I crumbled. I completely lost it. Saying such helpful things like "what a stupid thing to say! Why else would I go to an ATM if I didn't need money?!"

I am all forgiveness and light, obviously. And also obviously, my normal, laid back, low blood pressure character was temporarily hijacked by some neurotic psycho with no self control and blood pressure through the roof.

I rang The Hubsand in tears. I never cry over money. Well, hardly ever. Not for a long time, anyway. We have, as I mentioned the other day, guests coming for dinner on Christmas day, and I haven't even started shopping for food, or even ordered the meat. I just didn't see how we could make it work.

Today I will go up to where the kids Christmas toys are on layaway and will cancel it to get the money we have paid on it back. And we will start again, only with less stuff. We will look at getting some of the bigger, more special stuff we had (the Wii etc) in the January sales.

And we will continue to believe that God is in control. We will continue to trust in Him. Sure, I've failed in the "be joyful in ALL things". But I know I've never questioned that He will come through. I might not know how exactly, He plans on doing that, but really, is that for me to know prior to it happening?

Christmas Cleaning

2009-12-01T11:02:00.003+09:30

It's December 1st here today.

I should be putting up my Christmas decorations, but my house isn't clean enough. I cannot fathom fluffing the house for the festive season unless it's pristine.

I have 1 husband, 5 children, a cat and a dog. My house is never pristine. But, as I suffer from MagazineCover-itis in it's most chronic form, I still expect it to be.

As you can probably gather, my expectations are rarely met.

However, as I am having a house full of guests over for Christmas dinner this year... a total of 7 adults and as many children in this tiny little house... I feel the need to have it sparkling.

Of course, I want it to be perfect for my family as well, during the rest of the year, but I find the task so overwhelmingly insurmountable most days, it... isn't. It's something I've been working on for many years, and I think I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. For the last month I've been tossing umpteen garbage bags a week of miscellaneous crap to the op-shop... which in itself is wonderfully therapeutic... not actually having that stuff in the house to clean up or find a home for any more. But I'm still not noticing the house getting any cleaner.

And I'm pretty sure I've figured out why.

I stopped writing myself lists. A plan of attack for the day. Something to keep me on track. Without lists, I could waste my whole day looking for the perfect Christmas tags on Etsy (which I may or may not have done yesterday).

So, I'm beginning again. Only this time, I'm going to add it to my left side bar, so you can see it, and it should keep me accountable. I'm going to give myself until Friday night to have it done. That's two and a half days. I shall have Pride and Prejudice on in the background... I find it the most wonderful thing to clean to.

If you are feeling the urge to deep clean your house, feel free to join me.

Home is Heaven

2009-11-19T11:35:00.006+09:30

Over at Bloom, a lady started a discussion on our focus on Heaven.

In a nutshell, she was wondering why we were being exhorted in Crazy Love, and in other studies she is currently doing to keep our focus on Heaven and be obsessed with it. It made her feel a little uncomfortable that so much focus was on Heaven, and not on works down here.

An excerpt of her discussion

"I don’t see myself preparing for a final day. Instead it’s about living here and now, working for heaven here on earth. Yes, I look forward to seeing Jesus in heaven but while I’m waiting, there are things I can be doing to work towards heaven on earth. As in: “Thy Kingdom come,  thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven...

I’ve been studying about the prophets and their prophecies about the coming of Christ and what the Gospels write about those prophecies. The first century Israelites (and their forefathers) were longing for a king to change the world. Prophets who wrote about a coming savior were passing on a message from God. The prophets were responding to the yearning of the people for a hope; for a new kind of kingdom with a ruler that brought peace and justice to the world. Jesus was and is that savior. But I see him as coming to change this world not heaven. It makes me uncomfortable to have so much focus be on heaven.”

I thought I might post my own comment back to her here, and see what you all think? What are your views on Heaven?

Good thought provoking question!

I think, that earth is not our Home. We *should* want to go Home. The sole aim and purpose of Jesus coming was to reconcile us to God, so that we can spend eternity with Him. If Christ hadn't come, we'd be doomed to hell, and life here on earth would be pointless.

Hebrews 11:1 tells us "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." We hope for heaven :) We are certain of the existence of God and His Kingdom. Verses 14-16 of Hebrew say "People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them."

If all we did was only for this world, the one that will surely pass away, (Matthew 24:35) then I would think that God made an error. Since we know He cannot, we must presume that there is a reward waiting for us in heaven for all we do. (Matthew 5:12, Luke 6:23)

We are here to influence as many people for the Kingdom as we possibly can. God wants everyone there! Jesus taught A LOT about Heaven; what was in store for us there, who could and couldn't go, what would and wouldn't get you there. The goal of our lives is Heaven. It's our reward. It's to spend all of eternity loving on God, praising and worshiping him... basking in His presence. We are also told, that what we do here on earth will count to what we get in Heaven. So it all works together beautifully :)

We're running a race. We're told to do it faithfully, with all our strength and "for the prize" (1 Corinthians 9:24, Philippians 3:14)

Tis the Season...

2009-11-17T17:25:00.005+09:30

... for give aways, it seems.

And I totally want this one.

Jesus Needs New PR is giving away SIX copies of *drum roll*

Oh how I want this. Aren't I nice to let you in on the secret?

Ok, so I get an extra entry for it... sue me ;)

But not only that, one lucky person will get a swag of goodies (including a voucher for a 6lb turkey!) which MPT has listed on his site.

You might want to go over there and leave your own entries :)

Thanks and a Reward... kind of.

2009-11-07T11:53:00.003+09:30

Thankyou all for your lovely comments about my chapter review :) I was so nervous! And, of course, after it had been up most of the day, I remembered something I really wanted to put in and had forgotten it. Isn't that just the way?

I sort of have a reward for you.

It's completely selfish though, because I hope it helps me. ;)

Centsational Girl has one of the most awesome DIY blogs out there in cyberspace. I el-oh-vee-ee it. And guess what?! She's giving away...

....

A ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR gift voucher to Lisa Leonard!

SQUEE!!

I adore Lisa's designs. I've wanted one for ages. Particularly the "Fly Free" one... when I first saw it, I caught my breath... it works beautifully for a prophesy I was given once. It would be such a sweet reminder.

But I think, if I win, I'll use the voucher for something for my mother... I've been trying to work out a way to get her 4 kids, 2 sons in law and nearly 8 grandchildren onto one pendant. So I emailed Lisa to ask a question... and she wrote back the sweetest email :) She assured me it wasn't a dumb question, but unfortunately, what I had asked for wasn't possible after all. But she did give me some lovely ideas to use instead. I'm thinking she needs to come up with a "Grandmother" range.

What do you think?

So, anyway... this is just ONE of my entries :)

That's right, Centsational Girl is giving you FOUR chances of wining this awesome prize.

..............

Why are you still here?!

Crazy Love Chapter 8: Profiles of the Obsessed

2009-11-03T22:16:00.022+09:30

I've been graciously (and daringly) been asked by Jess and Angie to be this weeks Guest Blogger for The Bloom Book-club .

Please know I use the term "blogger" very loosely.

How's everyone doing so far with the book? I'm loving it, but at the same time, I explain it to those I'm talking to that it's an uncomfortable read. It certainly isn't the type of book I would turn to if I was going for a bubble bath and wanted to switch of and not think. It was the type of book that I shoved into the hands of my pastor and said "You need to read this!"

Then realised what I said and had to back pedal.

Love you honey (I found this here after I quickly ducked out of the room. I'm totally leaving it in.)

*happy sigh* He's a sweetie.

I promise I'm going to try very hard not to use any Aussie-isms in this post... but please forgive me if a few slip in there :)

But let's get into the juicy, shall we? And it is a meaty chapter, for me at least. "They've given me the hardest one," I whined to Adam. "He's already explained pretty much everything... what can I add to it? How do I discuss something that is already out there so simply?"

So I started and then got stuck. And got all stressed out. So I jumped on Bloom Chat and picked the minds of The Night Crew without them really being aware. So girls, if you see things you've said here, this is your credit ;) And I heart you.

_________________________________________________

I'm going to start by saying that there was no way I was going to be able to cover everything contained in this chapter. So, if I have missed a segment you particularly wanted to be discussed, please hop on over to the Ning site and start a discussion in the forums. Don't be shy or embarrassed! We'd love to hear what you have to say and we honestly look forward to talking with you. I am in no way a bible scholar, and most of the women over there aren't either. All of the women I have encountered over there are lovely and approachable and have a wealth of wisdom and insight. And don't be intimidated by the chat! It goes pretty fast, but you'll get used to it. :) Just jump in and say hi. It's not intimidating. We talk about food and messy houses, hopes, fears and boobs. Seriously. We are so normal.

And, quite obviously, super spiritual.

So... grab your coffee, tea or ~~wine~~ any other caffeinated beverage of choice, because you'll need it. I've waffled rather. It's what happens when there is no word limit. I'm at home with kids all day. I need to use up my quota of adult words.

What I think is the crux of the chapter is that the obsessed are givers. Givers of love, lives, time and resources. They give joyfully, unreservedly and often unrequitedly. Those who are obsessed are willing to do whatever He asks, whenever He asks. I don't think this chapter was written to make you feel like you should be doing doing doing, and if you aren't then you FAIL, or you don't love Jesus. I admit I felt that way at first. But what I think what we need to ask ourselves is "are we surrendered to God?" Are we prepared to say "Speak, Lord, Your servant is listening."? (1 Samuel 3:10)

(There’s a thought... are you the Lord’s servant? Do you do His bidding?)

Please keep in mind through this chapter that just because you haven't sold your house and live in your car and give most of your pay check away, does not mean you are less of a Christian than those who have been called to do so, or feel that they should.

Profile of the Obsessed
Francis gave us the definition of Obsessed right at the beginning...

"To have the mind excessively occupied with a single emotion or topic." (Emphasis mine)

Welcome to conviction, Jen. I hope you enjoy your stay.

It's going to be a long chapter. I can tell.

I'll say it right now... I'm not obsessed with Jesus. Not even nearly. But I'd dearly, dearly love to be.

I don't know about you, but there are a million other things that take up my thoughts pretty much most of the time. My thoughts are not obsessively focused on Christ and His Word. Most of the time I'm focused on how many loads of laundry it will take to make it look like I've done something significant today, or where in the world Bethany has lost her glasses again, or what I'm going to cook for dinner or or or...

I like that Chan reminds us of the joy and peace that God bestows upon us when we adore Jesus, follow His Word and are faithful. It helps me to re focus, turn my eyes onto Jesus and try again tomorrow.

So let's look at the profiles of the Obsessed.

Obsessive Givers of Love
We all know the golden rule. It's been around since... forever.

When reading that passage from Luke 6, I thought I would research verse 35 a little bit. I looked up what words for, "love" "enemy" and "hate" were used. I asked the questions of whether enemy was for a non believer or a brother or sister "in" Christ who was just a big meanie. Did we just have to be friendly, or show unconditional love?

I'll be honest and own up that I was looking for a cop out.

I didn't get it.

The word for love used is agape. Agape was a word that was created especially to define the love Christians had for each other as opposed to the others; eros (passionate), philia(friendship) and storge (parental/family relational). Agape pretty much means that no matter what the person does to us, we won't let ourselves want anything other than the highest good for them, and that we will go out of our way to be good and kind to them. It's also noted in this instance of implying a perpetual abiding rule of action. Not just forcing a smile whenever we happen to run into them up at Target. All. The. Time. For realz NICE.

The word for enemy, echthros, is a personal one, not, say, a governmental one. The definition of a personal enemy is, basically, anyone who wishes you harm, or opposes your interests, or feels hatred towards you.

The word used for hate is miseo. It means to pursue with hatred or detest. The person who miseo's you makes it pretty well known. They do it doggedly.

I don't know about you, but I personally don't have anyone who hates me that much. At least, not that I know about. But I have had people who have hurt me terribly and very deeply, people I considered close friends. Needless to say, now they aren't my most favourite people. In fact, I've gone out of my way to avoid them. Oh, you know, I forgave them... through clenched teeth (ie. not really) but I'm certainly not going to invite them round for coffee.

Which is where Chan got me. He asked "Are you willing to do good to these people? To reach out to them?" (Pg 131)

Uh, that would be a NO.

I don't retaliate much. (Unless you're my husband or my kids. Then I will. Loudly; and more often than not, colourfully. I'm not proud of it; it's just a sad fact. God and me... we're workin' on it.) I'm a hider. An avoider. You hurt me and I'll pretty much stay out of your way. Oh, I'll snipe about you with my husband later, but I won't confront you. I’ll put on The Face when I can’t duck away before you notice me, and I’ll pretend nothing ever happened... but that’s not what Jesus is asking for here. What Jesus challenges us to do in these cases is to actively think and act nicely towards these people. To walk up to the person who caused you the most pain and bless them.

I heard once that you should pray for your enemies that which you wish for yourself. I think I can do that. It's a start at least. Coffee is still a little too hard at the moment, but I can pray that they are blessed in all areas of their lives, and that God's hand will be upon them. I can pray that the Lord fill me with His love for them... and one can only presume the rest will follow.

Obsessive Givers of Lives
As a worship leader, I can remember one Sunday urging the congregation to really mean the words they were singing... not just read them off the screen, but sing them intentionally. I was convicted right there that I myself can get so used to singing a song, what with rehearsals and practice and then typing them all up etc etc... that I too can just rattle them off without thinking about what I'm saying. So, right there on the platform, I promised God that I would always make the effort to mean the words I was singing to Him.

The first song I sang after that silent conversation was "Hosanna" by Brooke Fraser. (LOVE her)

It brought me to my knees.

"Break my heart for what breaks Yours

Everything I am for Your Kingdoms cause"

*pause*

Did you know that God takes you at your word?

And I can tell you, it changes your perspective. When you ask to receive God's heart, don't be surprised or put out when He gives it to you.

Since that day, my heart has been broken time and time again for the orphan, the unborn/aborted and the trafficked. I can only imagine how He is going to use this in my life. There have been a few windows of opportunity that we are excited to see emerging... but for the most part, we are just here waiting on God's timing, and just being willing and open to His call.

Are we willing to give God everything we are? Not just our will, our mind and our heart... but our body and our very lives? Not just in the way of "Ok, God... I'll do whatever You call me to do" but... are you willing to give your life life?

I'm pretty wrapped up in my kids and my husband. They sort of define me in a way at the moment. I'm certainly known in our church as the one with all the kids. Or Troy's mum. Or whichever child they happen to be talking about at that present time. Am I really willing to give them over to God to use to bring Him Glory?

When Francis was talking about being obsessed with safety, I immediately thought of this video. It cracks me up...

Of course, I know where it comes from (Job 1:10) which makes it even funnier, because it's Satan talking.

All joking aside, I've prayed that prayer. Many times. In many different situations. I think the reason I'm frightened to pray the suggested alternative is that I really kinda don't like pain. And I'm sort of attached to my kids and my husband. They grow on you after a while, y'know? And the first thing I can think of when being bold enough to pray that prayer is horrible things. The prayer that Francis challenges us to pray is right up there with prayers for patience and forgiveness...

DUMB.

Of course if you pray those prayers, something's going to happen to actually give you the chance to exercise those things.

I avoid those prayers like the plague.

The idea of praying that prayer Francis offered scares me... what if God decides to test me by taking one of The Multitude? What if we're in an accident and I, you know... get hurt? Or worse... bleed? An obsessed person, as the little synopsis thingie stated, “cares more about God's Kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being sheltered from pain or distress.” (Pg 133)

*uncomfortable*

Obsessive Givers of Time
After reading this chapter, I said to myself "I’m not doing enough. I don’t' help out at a soup kitchen. I'm not on the cleaning roster at church. I'd rather shove peas up my nose than help out in the crèche or Kids Church. I'm obviously not Obsessed with Jesus, because I just do the worship and music and stuff."

And then I sulked and felt bad and drank too much Coke.

But one of the girls on chat mentioned that sometimes, we forget that as mothers our time is usually taken up with giving our time to our family, and often it's the things we do day in day out 24/7, 365 days a year that, even though we kind of don't notice it any more (and neither do our husbands most of the time *grin*), they are the things that we are obsessively giving. We give to others, not ourselves, when we are obsessed. I know I'm certainly not cleaning up the same mess I mopped up yesterday (and the day before and the day before that) for my own self amusement.

Call me strange.

I am in no way saying that we should leave all the serving up to those dear single people or those whose children have grown. But while obsessed people are givers of their time, I doubt strongly that the Lord wants us to spread ourselves too thin... remember He often tells us to just be still. As always, take the time to listen to the Lord. But also remember... when He tells you to go... go.

But what do you have at hand that you can do? Not everything needs to take you away from your family (or your other commitments if you are single... see... I remember you too!) Are you able to open your home to take in someone who needs a place to crash for a night or six? Are you able to cook a meal for someone who’s just had a baby? Are you in a position to swing ten minutes out of your way to carpool with someone who can’t afford to fill their own car with fuel? What about caring for a single mother’s child/ren while she’s at work so she doesn’t have to pay for child care? Can you sit and listen to that girlfriend who's having boy problems again and actually listen and respond with care and deliberation, not just going "uh huh... yuh... yep... I know.... uh huh..."

It doesn’t even have to be things like that which take up large chunks of time... can you carve out 5 minutes in your week to sit down and write a note or a card to encourage someone on team at your church, or a congregation member who looked a little strung out last Sunday? Can you find 20 minutes when the baby is asleep or instead of watching the show you watch religiously to make a phone call to the lonely elderly lady who’s family live in another state? If you’re mowing your lawn... and your neighbour jokes for the hundredth time “want to do mine when you’re done?”... how ‘bout, instead of the half ~~grimace~~ smile and polite barely-a-laugh, answering joyfully “Sure!” (Or send your hubby to do it... nothing wrong with delegating *wink*)

Not everything is grandiose, but everything measures for something in Eternity. And you may probably never know exactly how much those few moments of your surrendered time might mean to those you bestow it upon.

Just take care not to measure your deeds, or keep a list... like, “today I did such and such and yesterday I did this, that and the other. Look Self! (and God) I'm Serving!” If we’re measuring, then we’ve missed the point. Also, remind yourself that measuring is different from being careful to make sure our primary priorities, such as our spouse or our kids, are not being abandoned.

Obsessive Givers of Resources
Do you give sacrificially?

I remember how our church put on a little public bbq thing for ANZAC day. There were games, face painting and balloon sculptures. It was all free, and that was indulged in readily and heartily.

The interesting thing was the free food.

We gave away drinks, sausages, cookies and bananas. (We have a banana farmer in our congregation.) We literally had to force them into people’s hands. They weren't used to being given something like that with nothing being asked for in return.

Where I live, we are experiencing the worst housing crisis of any city in Australia, and perhaps the western world. People are living in tents because there is just nowhere else for them to go.

And the rainy season is just about here.

I'm not talking about a couple of sprinkles and a few puddles or a big rain ... Monsoon. Pretty much every day.

For four months.

There are the working homeless; people who have well paying jobs, but have no other choice but to sleep in their car at the beach. I've heard stories of pregnant women in tents, due to give birth any time soon and families of five living in one room in a parents house. One mother has been couch hopping with her two small children for nearly a year, and she’s running out of friends. To add insult to injury, we also have the highest rent and buying costs of any capital city in the country.

But at the same time... I don't know where these people are. I don't know what they need, besides a roof over their heads. I also couldn't tell you where to go to hand out food parcels. Like Francis, I have not intentionally gone to look for those in need.

When Francis told of the reactions of people when he sold his house, so that he could donate the extras to the poor, I chuckled to myself, because I had heard every single one of those... only they were talking about how many children we had.

Lots of people think we are crazy for having (almost) six kids. They are being nice about this pregnancy, more than they were the last one, where some people were downright hateful. Either that or they think we're nuts, and it's better not to disturb the unbalanced.

This really doesn't have much to do with being crazy in your literal interpretation of the bible, but it does example what people will think if you go against the "norm". Or when you don't do the "comfortable" Christianity so many seem to enjoy. Adam and I have a sponsor child in Guatemala, and even in the toughest times, like Jess spoke about on the video last week, it was never an option to not pay for his support. In our family, what we pay to Delmar each month costs the same as a dinner trip to MacDonald’s for all of us. In the greater scheme of things, it's not much. We hope to have at least as many sponsor children as we have biological ones... something that some people look at us strangely for, and question whether it’s a wise or fiscal decision. And whenever we mention that we would like (in about 5 or so years) to adopt a girl or two from a country where the sex slave trade is highest, people throw their hands up in horror and give us up as hopeless.

Putting yourself out there for others makes people uncomfortable. It's not your fault.

It's theirs.

Just run with it, and don't worry what people say. In the end, God isn't going to care about what other people thought at the time. He'll be more concerned with what He thought, and your reaction to that.

Jesus doesn't ask all of us to go off to serve in Africa, or start crisis pregnancy centres, or adopt eleventy-three orphans. For most of us it's just the everyday stuff that almost seems like it doesn't really matter... the child minding, the loving on our husbands and/or family, the prods to watch the way you speak to people or to adjust your attitude to house cleaning... Of course, those last two could just be mine, but you get the idea.

Be surrendered. Be willing. Take joy in serving others.

And Then There’s Our First Love
Not only do the obsessed love others, they love Jesus. Passionately. Since we can’t go up and hug Jesus personally just yet, our adoration plays out in doing what He asks of us. Jesus said in the first part of John 14:21 “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me.”

Under the subheading “The Rooted”, Chan writes as a summary, “People who are obsessed with God have an intimate relationship with Him. They are nourished by His Word throughout the day because they know that 40 minutes on a Sunday is not enough to sustain them for a whole week...” (Pg 145)

I vaguely remember Quiet Time. And yet, ridiculously, I wonder sometimes why my relationship with Jesus isn’t all it could or should be. A couple of weeks ago, during the sermon, the preacher said that he remembered a card on their mother’s dressing table mirror that said “Feeling far from God? Guess who moved.” You just can’t expect your relationship with your Heavenly Father to thrive and grow and deepen if you don’t actually deliberately draw aside to spend time with Him. Obsessed people spend as much time with Him as they can, are devoted to Him, and delight in bringing Glory to His name. They want to be like Christ... humble, forgiving, loving, giving, and in constant commune with the Father. They long for heaven, and remember, like Clara, that “You must be ready... It will be good for that servant whom the master finds doing so when he returns.” (Luke 12:40a & 43)

I remember when I was first dating Adam that all I wanted to do was be with him. If I could have crawled inside of his skin, I would have. There was nothing I wouldn't do for him, fetch for him, gift him... We spent hours on the phone, we wrote letters and notes to each other and we wagged (skipped) more classes than I think we attended because we just wanted to be together.

When was the last time you (I) felt like that about Jesus? That crazy, all consuming, obsessive love?

Or has your love not waned, exactly, but settled into a comfortable sort of... complacency?

"A person who is obsessed is characterised by a committed, settled, passionate love for God, above and before every other thing and every other being" (pg 143)

That’s the bar I’m aiming for.

Obsessively.

Now more than ever...

2009-10-29T15:37:00.001+09:30

SNEEZE

2009-10-27T15:22:00.003+09:30

Wow... check out all the dust and cobwebs here...

Stay tuned... there's something coming.

Now... where is that feather duster?

Death in the Family

2009-06-30T00:52:00.004+09:30

I've held off for a couple of days writing this, hoping that my thoughts and emotions would sort themselves out into something coherent. They haven't as yet, but I shall write anyway.

It's not your usual death. However, it grieves me greatly. My life will forever be missing someone. Whenever I think of it, and the circumstances surrounding it, my chest constricts in a way I've never known, and I weep, not only for myself, but for Adam, for my children, for my parents.

But most of all, for my devastated dearest brother, who's first child was aborted by his ex-girlfriend at 11 weeks.

If I'm honest, and I'm so glad I can be here, I'm angry. Furious even. I loved that precious little life. I'd never met his girlfriend. But I adore my brother, and he was so overjoyed to become a father. It's all he's ever wanted. I'm angry because Rob didn't want her to. I'm angry because, as in his words, "But what could I do? She didn't want it."

And he's right. She left him, and decided she didn't want it after all. He's in the navy. He's at sea the larger chunk of the year. He couldn't have contested it. He wouldn't have stood a chance.

And you know what? I'm angry because we didn't get a say. The aunts and the uncles, who were so excited, for the grandparents who never got to see the first son of their first son. For the cousins, who, while they don't understand, I'm sure will feel the undercurrent for years.

I'm angry for the baby. I've never known my heart and arms could ache so much for a child not of my own womb. I'm angry that we couldn't save him. I'm angry that even if we'd offered to have the baby, which we would of, without a second thought, it wouldn't have changed the outcome.

I'm angry there's no grave. I'm angry he'll never be spoken about. I'm angry he'll never be acknowledged. I'm angry. I'm ANGRY.

I never met him. I never held him. I never breathed him in. In fact, I don't even know if it was a boy. But it's what comes naturally, and I believe the Lord it impressing it upon me.

And yet, I feel the compulsion to reach out to find him. To cuddle him close, and tell him is loved, that he was wanted, and is the sweetest little smidgen to ever grace my life.

Babies were made to be cuddled... it is incomprehensible to me that he never was... by choice.

I can't write any more. I just want to thump the keyboard and swear. Loudly.

Rest safe in the arms of Jesus, precious, beloved, sweet baby.

Becoming Prince Charming

2009-03-04T15:16:00.006+09:30

"How do we raise gentlemen in this day and age?!"

I exclaimed this in frustration to our pastor a couple of weeks ago.

The old fashioned gentlemanly behaviour is often looked at with incredulity at best, or laughed at as weak at worst.

And yet... it's what a woman wants. If they didn't, then Pride and Prejudice, Mills & Boon and any romantic movie wouldn't have a kazillion dollar niche.

There is a respect for women that has been missing from parenting boys in the last 50 years or so, mainly, I believe, as a result of the feminist movement that shouted as loud as it could that "women aren't weak! We don't need men to take care of us!"

They were right in the first statement. Dreadfully misguided on the second.

Men have been known to say that they don't open doors any more, or stand up when women enter or leave a room, mainly because they don't want to be jeered at. I can't say I blame them.

But I want my sons to do it anyway.

I'm starting to research Biblical principles of manhood, gentlemanly behaviour, and as Knights, not only for the Kingdom, but shiny ones for their future Princess. I'm going to chronicle my findings here, under the title "Becoming Prince Charming". To say I'm starting from scratch is an understatement. My boys are louts. Oh, they say please and thank you, they tend not to lick their plate at the dinner table and are generally good kids. But they don't always speak politely even when frustrated, wait until their sisters are in the car before they clamour in, or necessarily acknowledge that I or their sisters have entered the room. And they fight!

Of course, the Lord has let me go on my merry way complaining (loudly) about their behaviour, bemoaning the lack of respect etc etc etc. Today, because I am so intelligent, it finally dawned on me that the Word would be able to direct my path as a mother to my sons. Of course.

I want my sons to beautiful, shining examples of Christ. I want my future daughters-in-law to know without a doubt that the Lord is first in my son's lives, that their husband is a lover and devourer of Scripture, that he's a strong leader as well as a gentle lover and has been raised in the Godly precepts of Manhood, Fatherhood and that of a Husband. I want my daughters-in-law to know, that if she was in a room full of women, that because of her husband, my son, she would be the most cherished woman there.

Basically, I want her to be able to see her face in the shining armour of her Knight.

Please join me. Give me ideas, scripture, your opinion. Lets, together, raise up a generation of boys that have beautiful manners, a quiet strength, unquestionable masculinity and a love for the Lord that is overshadowed by nothing else. Then, just maybe, we'll begin the re-birth of the manners of Yesteryear, and it will, again, be the norm.

Every girl deserves a Knight in Shining Armour. Lets be the mothers and fathers that train them.

So Many Things

2009-02-17T13:10:00.004+09:30

The fires here have taken up alot of my thought space. I posted over on my Xanga about them. It was emotionally too hard to transport the posts here. It truly hurt my heart to write them out the first time, let alone copy and past here.

I found Adam's birth-father on FaceBook. That has knocked us for six (Aussie term, it realtes to cricket) and we are still processing that, and trying to decide what to do with that new information.

The kids and I survived the holidays, and they are now settling in very well at school.

Adam and I start Bible College very soon. Our church has been approved to teach Hillsong Leadership College's external courses. I am very, very excited.

My birthday is in 11 days. I will be Very-Nearly-Old... which means 29.

My husband brought me a kitten, and his name is Archie.

It's raining a whole bunch here.

Bethany has started ballet and she adores it. Troy is starting tennis next week. Drew will start swimming as soon as we organise it, and I buy him some new bathers. AMy is too wee to start ballet, but will in July, after she turns 3.

Eli is stil adorable.

I'm going on a date with The Hubsand tomorrow. I couldn't be more giddy. There may be a new outfit involved.

Tomorrow, I will post the outcomes of my meeting with the plastic surgeon, and my decissions regarding surgery. It was more difficult to decide than I thought.

One day, I'm going to spill my guts here and shock whoever happens upon it. Perhaps I should do it now while not many people know about it and can't hate me.

Shameless begging

2009-01-20T19:29:00.001+09:30

So.. what's the best way to get more people to follow you on twitter, do you think?

I do Crazy constantly

2009-01-15T16:40:00.004+09:30

The end of year school holidays have only a week and three days to go. I can finally see myself emerging from it with a sense of "what the hell just happened for the last 6 weeks?"

I think, had we a bigger back yard and/or I had the inclination to take all 5 children to the park on a semi regular basis, we probably would have sailed these waters better. However, I did not.

I'm ordering some new parenting books. One is by Garry Chapman of 5 Love Languages fame. It's titled The Family You've Always Wanted. The other is Have a New Kid by Friday, by Kevin Leman. This is the one I'm looking forward to the most. We have struggled so terribly with lying, hitting, and lack of care of possessions this holidays. To the point where a letter has been penned, and Santa will not be coming to the three older ones this year. And yes, we are sticking to our guns on this one. Each child received a board game and a card game this past Christmas. It had not been a week before they were destroyed or pieces lost. To say I completely lost my cool with them over that would be the understatement of the last 4 milleniums.

*sigh* You know, the only bad thing about having more children than is deemed 'normal' is that you really can't ask for help, because you get a few different responses, all centering around "well, it's your fault. You had this many children". So I don't ask. I flounder on in my own way, completely failing, and being so removed from my idea of what a mother should be that sometimes the lure to slide into a dark depression is ridiculously inviting. And I could you know. I hear it calling me. The temptation to completely give up because nothing I do is the right thing. Because if I see one more disparaging look over my children's behaviour I'll burst into tears right there. Beasuae in just about every book I've read, children are portrayed as these wonderful creatures who are only ever naughty in the sense that they might let some frogs loose from their pockets at church. They hardly ever fight or bicker, and if they do, it's all kissed and made up in half a page and off they go fishing. They do as they are told. They look after their things. They tidy up.

It's also bizarre to me, because I don't remember being like this as a child. I was fastidioulsly neat. I still have things that were gifted to me when was small. My children have nothing of sentimental value. They have destroyed pretty much everything that they have ever owned. I was delighted with all things pretty. I redecorated the girls bedroom the other day. You wouldn't even think, the way they behaved, that anything had been done differently. My kids have this air of expectation about them.... they expect things to be done for them. They expect to be given things. They expect their toys and books to be replaced. Quite frankly, it disgusts me.

I don't know how to combat this. No Santa presents this year is all very good, but they won't really get it until the day... and won't that be the makings of a joyous Christmas? SHould they not get birthday gifts or a party? I don't think they'd notice. They don't receive anything extra during the year, so we can't curtail any of that.

I just want them to get along. I want them to play nicely. I don't want to go through the day wanting to sob by the end of it and carve grooves in my concrete walls with my fingernails because all I hear after the greeting of "what's for breakfast" are screams, crying, yelling and fighting.

I want the family I always wanted. The one I thought just.... happened.

Adieu 2008

2008-12-31T16:57:00.001+09:30

It was not a perfect year. But has there ever been a perfect year? Has there ever been a year when all the love and health and fame we wished for one another came to pass?

Yet, despite the disappointments of these, our complex lives, we learn to make do - make better - make believe that better days will come.

And if we continue to believe, who is to say that the perfect year will not yet be here?

Welcome, 2009.

It's Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T08:28:00.003+09:30

Have a merry Christmas all. Thanks for dropping in :)

Remember, too, as you have a room full of laughing family, that "One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." (Andy Rooney)

The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking

2008-12-22T16:37:00.001+09:30

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter 'The House') a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to, a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel eg. stockings, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St Nick aka St Nicholas aka Santa Claus (hereinafter 'Claus') would arrive at sometime thereafter.

The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionary treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as 'I'), being the joint owner in fee simple of the House with the parts of the second part (hereinafter 'Mamma'), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.)

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e. the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.

At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter, the Vehicle) being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.

Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspiritors by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (Hereinafter 'the Deer'). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-conspiritor named 'Rudolph' may have been involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered the House via the chimney.

Said Clause was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.

Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stockings of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute 'gifts' to said minors pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)
Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the house to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited, and/or served as 'lookouts'. Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"

Or words to that effect.

Aurthor Unknown

Martha Stewart's Christmas Holiday To-Do List

2008-12-18T16:11:00.001+09:30

1 December: Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray-paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas cards.
2 December: Contact local choir to record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine
3 Decmeber: Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling with macha trim
4 December: Get new eyeglasses. Grind lens self
5 December: Fax family Christams newsletter to Pulitzer committee for consideration
6 December: Debug Windows '95
9 December: Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth
11 December: Lay Faberg`e egg
12 December: Take dog apart. Disinfect. Reassemble
13 December: Collect dentures. They make excelent pastry cutters, particularly for decorative piecrusts.
14 December: Install plumbing in gingerbread house
15 December: Adjust legs of chairs so all Christmas dinner guests are the same hight when sitting down
16 December: Dip sheep and cows in egg whites and roll in icing sugar to add a festive sparkle to the pasture
17 December: Drain city resevoir; refill with mulled cider, orange slices and cinnamon sticks
18 December: Float votive candles in toilet tank
20 December: Seed clouds for white Christmas
21 December: Do festive good deed. Go to several stores. Be seen engaged in last-minute Christmas shopping, thus making people feel less inadequite than they really are
23 December: Organise spice racks by genus and phylum
24 December: Build snowman in exact likeness of God
25 December: Bear son. Swaddle. Lay in colour-coordinated manger scented with homemade potpurri
New Years Eve: Give staff their resolutions. Call a friend in each time zone of the world as the clock strikes midnight in that country.
~Anon~

Be near me, Lord Jesus

2008-12-15T14:34:00.003+09:30

The Christmas School holidays have begun.

Otherwise known as The Ultimate Test of Sanity.

One has bled profusely. Already.

It's going to be a long six weeks.

Have you ever wondered if God looks at us and thinks to himself that we're perpetually like kids on an extended holiday?

For example, today, the very. first. day, my children have been
*Argumentative
*Bored
*Fidgety
*Testing
*Loud
*Unhelpful
*Disobedient

They've hit each other, lied, yelled, broken things and thrown tantrums.

Isn't it great to know that our Father God doesn't get snappy like I do, or shrill, fed up, short tempered or longing for the day when "they'll be gone all day".

My kids are a handful. I will be relying on Him a lot.

Possibly TMI, but anyway...

2008-12-01T16:29:00.003+09:30

The Lord blessed me in the chest area. Abundantly.

It's not something that I particularly enjoy about myself, not being a wanton hussy who shows them off at every available oppertunity.

However, that being said, a lot of people thank that I am, simply because of their size, which is unfair, as it's not something I can do alot about. I struggle to dress modestly. I do so to the best of my ability, however, you just can't help but notice them. They're kind of out there.

Earlier this year, I was accused by my husbands best mate (and his wife) of dressing provocatively around him and flirting with him. My own husband's first reaction was to bust out laughing, the accusation was just that ridiculous. The second was to snot the guy.

I had never been in J's presence alone the entire time I had known him. They were members of our small group, which was held at our place, and most of the time, I hadn't even brushed my hair that day, and hadn't even taken the time to change my clothes and freshen up for my own husband, let alone look provocative for someone elses.

I'll take this moment to say that C is as FLAT AS A TACK.

But there's no bitterness there, no sireee.

I won't go into all the details of how this deeply affected me, for days, weeks and even months, suffice to say it was all very confusing, humiliating and hurtful, there was a bunch of stuff said and we don't speak anymore. And they left the church the next day.

All of that was to preface this: I got a referal to a plastic surgeon about a month ago. When I gave it into his office to book an appointment, I was told he was not taking on any more patients this year, and wouldn't be looking at any referals until the new year.

I got a letter last week, telling me I had an appointment with him the beginning of February.

I'm not doing it because of what happened. I'll admit that the knee jerk reaction was to go out and get a loan to have the work done the very next day. But I didn't, because that would be doing something rather dramatic in the wrong spirit. This is something that I have been contemplating for many, many years. However, I can no longer find clothes that fit me without looking like a tent, I have permanent dents in my shoulders from the weight, my back is constantly sore, and I recently had a mole cut out of one , and the weight of them popped the stitches. I purchase my bras from England because you can't buy my size commercially (30K), and I pay on average $100 AUD a bra.

Over here, a reduction is classified as a medical procedure, not a cosmetic one, and therefore fully covered by medicare. (I love "socialised medicine" *cheeky wink* It works over here.) Yet, I'd put it off for years and years. However, it's become more than ridiculous. My husband is fully supportive (though a little sad *wink*) and he has been wonderful through the whole ordeal.

*shrug* The letter has made it all a little more real, I suppose. Don't quite know how to process it all. I know it's not going to make me a better person, just a more comfortable one.

From My Corner to Yours

2008-11-28T07:07:00.005+09:30

Here I am, Send me...

2008-11-27T13:32:00.001+09:30

Bika mono ve, mvulusi mono ku lomba. Bu nge vuluswa ba nkaka bika mono ve.

Pass me not, o gentle Savior, hear my humble cry. While on others Thou art calling do not pass me by.

I Kid You Not, This Conversation Took Place

2008-11-25T12:18:00.003+09:30

Me: Bethany, go and get in the shower.
She goes of wailing, because she's been in a foul mood all day, and I'd just scrubbed her hands with nail polish remover, as I'd just caught her hiding and painting her 'nails'

10 minutes later....

Me: Bethany, are you in the shower?
Beth:Yes.
Me: Is it on?
Beth: No

*shakes dumbfounded head*

Being a Responsible Pet Owner SUX

2008-11-22T19:49:00.002+09:30

The other day, our 6 year old dog killed a cat; her second in as many months. Calcifer was the first. This second cat, we don't know who it belongs to.

Adam and I made the painful decision to have her put down before it became a very big problem, with disasterous results.

We consulted our vet on the matter, as it is only a very newly aquired behaviour. It seems that the dog we took on taught her to chase, and while it couldn't catch the cats, Ruby could.

She never ate them, and so the vet seems to thinks that Ruby was just playing with them and thus killing them by being too rough, or infact, she may have been brining them to us as presents. It is unclear wether or not it was intentional for the cats to die, however, unfortunately, it was the result.

As a result she has aqcuired 'the taste', the vet said, and it would only get worse. She caustioned us that if we decided not to have her put down, we would need to watch her closely around other pets and small children. While both Adam and I believe she would never, ever hurt a child, we decided that it was safer not to play the maybe game.

Adam took her on his own, and he said to the vet that he felt awful, because she wasn't sick, she wasn't really old... there was nothing wrong with her. She was very understanding and supportive of our decision. While she couldn't flat out say 'yes, you need to put her down', one got the impression she felt it the right move. She told Adam that 6 years for a big dog is actually a really good life. It didn't make him feel any better though.

So, if you have a moment, think of Adam, who has felt this very deeply, she was such a pretty, placid dog, and he loved her very, very much. The kids took it hard, but over it already, the way kids are wont to do. I miss her, and I cried my eyes out yesterday to the point they were itchy when I wasn't weeping. We feel guilty, but conflicted in that guilt.

We are grieving.

Come on over, Come on Over Baby

2008-11-17T11:35:00.004+09:30

Head on over to my Xanga and see how much housework I get done today!

I can't work the strikethough here on blogger without it doing it to my entire blog, so we'll have a bit of a clicky party, ok? :)

So, you know that thing I was supposed to be doing this week?

2008-11-13T09:42:00.004+09:30

I got sick. Really sick. Like, I-am-going-to-be-praising-God-if-I-survive-the-night sick.

No kidding, I was sure I was going to drown in my own mucus, my head has been that full. I've been sleeping the last two nights with 4 pillows, so as to be semi-upright so I can breathe.

It's always the way. Anytime I make plans to make some headway on the house I get sick, or the baby has a clingy day, or I need to spend most of the day in the car running around after people or something.

Always something.

I know who does it. And I know why.

The enemy knows it frustrates me. He knows it drives my husband crazy. He knows we don't function well in a messy house. He knows the kids are always naughtier, and we argue more. He knows it stresses us out. He knows it impedes hospitality. He knows it keeps us too busy to do anything else. He knows it makes me feel guilty, overwhelmed, belittled and a failure. He knows it makes me even more OCD and he knows the battle I struggle with to keep it at bay and not to let it take over (which results in the most bizarre outcome, but never mind that). He also knows it's a way to isolate me, as I'm too proud and embarrassed to ask for help. He knows it's the best way to keep me uncontented.

He knows it is the best thing to keep us unproductive for the kingdom.

I will get it done. I know I will. As soon as I kick this illness somewhat I'm just going to have to get in there. Write me another list, and set to work crossing it off. I need to find some scriptures to pray first thing in the morning that will help me get motivated, and know that God is on my side, cheering me on, and carrying me through. I'd really love to get a big poster with Colossians 3:23&24 on it and stick it somewhere prominent.

So I'm going to ask all of you something.

What are the scriptures that help you in your mothering/wifing life? What words encourage you, motivate you and help you feel less alone? What should I have scattered around my home in certain places for me to read and lift my spirits and my flagging momentum?

Feel free to bombard. Ask your friends and family, and help a sister out.

We Interupt the Regular Scheduled Programming

2008-11-11T08:36:00.005+09:30

They will not grow old, as we who are left grow old;

Age will not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning

We will remember them.

With all my heart, thanks boys.
Rememberence Day, November 11

Make Your Home a Haven.... week

2008-11-10T11:29:00.003+09:30

Crystal at Biblical Woomanhood often runs Make Your Home a Haven Monday's, but, you know, she moved interstate, is pregnant, has a three year-old, so it's been on the back burner for a bit. However, Monica at The Homespun Heart is running a week long version.

I adore things like this. Keeps me focused and motivated.

Most people unclutter and fluff during these. I will be you know, cleaning. I'll even take photos, perhaps. It really is quite frightening, my house. Adam and I got fed up with having boxes of miscelaneous stuff still from the move, so in a moment of insanity no, genious no, not quite sure what exactly, we just dumped them all out on the floor, figuring if it's on the floor, we'll be more likely to pick it up.

*ahem*

There is a pile in my dining room that's been there for two weeks.

There is all our laundry in our bedroom. Unfolded.

Please don't look at my kitchen. I know I try not to.

So. My plan of attack looks like this:

Monday: Master Bedroom (incuding sorting clothes and tidying cupboards) and washing laundry. Folding negotiable.
Tuesday: Kids Bedrooms (see above note) & Bathroom/toilet/laundry (including linen press and organising the bathroom cupboards)
Wednesday: Kitchen and Dining Room (including buffet, linen chest and organising kitchen cupboards and shelves)
Thursday: The "Big Room" (including sorting books, toys and picking the rocks out of the decking. My children are delightful)
Friday: Organise the garage for Adam to tackle on Saturday. Put stuff for the dump in an easy to get to place. Separate keep from donate.

Anyone else joining in? I'll post pictures if you will.

I never was one to stick to anything

2008-11-06T09:51:00.002+09:30

So I'm back.

I was browsing through here, as I was updating my "A Thousand Times" (Which I finished! On time!! See them all over there in my side bar) and I noticed on an older post that there were more comments than I remembered. AS I read them, I felt so guilty! Ashley, from Heart and Home, had added me to her blog lines (faint!) and more than a few others said they would be back.

Forgive me?

Truly, in all honesty, it's not that hard to transfer posts from Xanga over here. So I shall. No, I have not magically discovered Self Discipline or Time Management, but, I figure, it'd be good for a laugh to document the path towards it. We have a saying in our home, that our place is like a party that never quits. I have loved documenting our lives on Xanga, it certainly calls for introspection towards your inner motives of life... a common thought through my head is "I really must remember to post about that."

And, true to form, the last Xanga post was a breath of fresh air and wit....

"Please tell me I'm not the only one who's managed to put a disposable nappy through the washing machine"

Because I am all that is eloquent and profound.

To quickly bring all who still trip by here up to date, Adam has turned thirty, and after professing all year that it really didn't phase him, come the day, as he put it "then I arrived here. Get me alcohol." We are absconding for a weekend; we've separated the children to two families, and are having three days of Sweet F A. (That's an Aussie-ism. You may need clarification. Just imagine the F with a few asterisks after it. The last word is All. Does that help?)

We are strongly considering home school next year, (because having my kids at home all the time never drives me up the wall *cough*) but are unsure of how to actually go about it. While we don't want to un-school, we do want to um, how do I say, supplement a lot of the curriculum with biblical principals and teaching, and we don't really know how to go about it, and keep withing guide lines. We do have a homeschooling family in our church (one of only two that I know! It's rare here. Though, as Adam and I discussed last week, if we were on a cattle station [ranch] and were doing Distance Education, no one would bat an eyelid. Home school is pretty much the same thing, though we are within distance of a school) so we are going to talk to them about it a little bit more.

I shan't continue on anymore. But if I may, could I please ask you to drop me a line and let me know you are still here? I am very penitent, and promise faithfully to never leave you again.

For the moment...

2008-10-07T12:06:00.006+09:30

I think I'll just stick to Xanga.

I'd love it if you visited me there.

Alternitively, my email address is on my side bar. If you don't want to avert your eyes slightly to the left because you are too tired, (I know I am) it's mat2820b {@} aim {.} com Without the spaces and pretty perenthesis.

I'll still check in on here from time to time.... you never know, I may need to come and post here again. I just don't have the time to keep up two blogs at the moment! When I get you know, self discipline and time management skills, I may just be able to figure something out.

You can leave messages/comments here, or I'm pretty sure you can post on my Xanga if you particularly wanted to.

Oh my gosh, You will not believe what has been happening around here.

2008-08-18T14:23:00.002+09:30

I got some photos of the kids. That's the good news.

Eli is now walking around the furniture. That's.... ok news.

Amy did a faceplant off the top bunk, split her bottom lip from end to end and all the way through and knocked out her top front left tooth.

That's the BAD news.

Did you know that the human head bleeds profusely when broken?

Also, I've been mad busy trying to squeeze all our possessions into this tiny house without it looking like we live in a thrift store, Adam is studying like a crazed person to get his diplomas (yes, plural) finished in two weeks, so we agreed I'd be a 'single parent' for a fortnight or so, and to top it all off, I went away for the weekend with the ladies from church for a retreat.

Oh! But I finished Adam's next hundred off. The link is to the side. Also, because I don't have the time to post pictures here on Blogger at the moment, here are the ones I posted on Xanga

*sigh* I promise, really, to put more of an effort into here. And thank you all, for your comments so far... and please accept my apologies for being rude and not responding to the last few.

I have been around

2008-08-04T18:47:00.003+09:30

I just haven't had anything to say that was in anyway interesting

Not that today will be any different, but what the hell.

Oh! Adam brought me a camera! It's just a little point and shoot, but as he said, it's better than nuthin' until we can save up for a really good one. (Out of his own mouth came the words "about a thousand dollars." My heart sang. I knew what that meant. It means I'll have to make up my mind between a Nikon and a Canon. SLR, of course. Any input?)

So, once I work out how to get the photos off it and onto my computer, I will update the pictures of the kiddies. And Adam. And me. Perhaps.

We took the kids to the Wildlife Park today. It was such a happy little family day. We'll do it again.

I have some interesting (to me) topics to discuss over the next little while. Still hashing them out in my head. A couple of heart wrenchers on the conundrum of parenting... desperately wanting to discourage things like, you know, standing, and the pride that they can actually, you know, do it... a few befores and afters as I redecorate (kinda) the bedrooms (I'm actually going to put beds in them. Imagine that!) and maybe, perhaps a few little bits and bobs about my journey to becoming a house wife. Not a better one. Just one. That should be fun, considering I uh... SUCK.

See you then if you dare!

I'm Quirky.

2008-07-29T10:46:00.006+09:30

I love books. I love collecting books. But, I have a confession to make.

I am a complete book snob.

I like my books to be old. Like as in, 50's or earlier. There is just something about an old book that calls to me more than a new one. Though I do give a little in that regard, being that some good books weren't written in the fifties, maily because the authers hadn't even been born yet.

Don't get me wrong, I also love new books. New books are exciting, they smell`and look and feel crisp with the promise of something you've never read.

But old books *sigh* The smell of old books are intoxicating. The feel of old books are soft and worn. The pages are faded and dog-eared, the covers have their corners smooshed a bit from being dropped. Old books beckon to you as old friends... to snuggle in your chair and lose yourself completely.

But my snobbishness does not end there. If I am collecting a series of books... they must all be the same. I can't stand to have different publications of series. I have always been like this, since I was little.

Seriously, I"ll prove it.

I adored the Famous Five and Secret Seven. However, my Famous Five books HAD to be the 1950's hardback publications, with red cloth covers. My Secret Seven books were soft cover, 1980's publications. It drove me nuts that one of my Famous Five books was from the seventies, and didn't fit with my other books on the shelf, so I couldn't put it where it belonged in order, but had to put it at the end, and that drove me nearly over the edge. I thought the 70's covers of Secret Seven ugly, and refused to read them.

I got into a bidding war on eBay last night over a book. I'm not even kidding. It was the last one I needed for a complete set of 1970 edition hardback "Anne" books. If I did not have that book, my collection would be incomplete. You will never know how much the idea of that bugged me. I didn't pay more than I wanted ($20), but it's funny, because I managed to get the first 8 for $30, and I got Rainbow Valley for 10.

I've also found a complete collection of Charles Dickens for a song and I also found all three "Heidi" books (1950), all of Louisa May Alcott (although I'm iffy over the "Little Women" one... I'm not sure if it contains "Good Wives" as well) which were published in the 1920's (pitter patter goes my heart) and my biggest yearning... but it is so ridiculously expensive... all twenty 1960's volumes of "Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Stories". Finding Susan Coolidge books are nearly impossible, new or old (that match anyway) and although I'm not a great fan of X-books-in-one, I am going to have to go this route with these. I can get the first 4 in one book (great in the fact that finding an old publication of "Clover" for less that $100 is proving more and more difficult) but that leaves "In the High Valley"... and that is almost non existent. I haven't even read it yet. There is ONE on amazon.com... a 1901 (be still my heart) copy for $100.

Oh, but it does not end there. The books must also be unabridged. There is nothing I hate more than a chopped apart story.

Adam does not understand this obsession. When he collects his books, he doesn't care if they are soft cover or hardback, new or old... it's the same story inside, doesn't matter what's on the cover.

What I'd like to know is, do you have any quirks when it comes to collecting things?

Grief.

2008-07-26T09:16:00.003+09:30

Please be in Prayer for Pastor Greg Laurie and his family. His son Christopher has been killed in a car accident. He's only 33. His wife is due with their second child in November.

You han leave condolence messages here

Don't Judge Me

2008-07-25T12:17:00.005+09:30

I went Christmas shopping yesterday. Every year, Target has this humongous toy sale, where most things are half price, and you only pay 3 dollars to put it all on layby no matter how much you buy and they will store it there until Christmas eve.

Winner.

As I compiled my list of things for the kids the night before, I am reminded again just how expensive everything is getting over here. Most items at half price were still around $20. We had to quickly revise the $100 per child thing we've had going. At most, they'd get 5 things. I'm a gift giver. That just don't cut it in my book.

Or Santa's, for that matter.

Of course, the smallies could get away with less. As my brother would say, they barely know they're alive.

I understand that having 5 kids will always bring up these issues, so I wasn't too fussed about it. I have about 18 weeks to pay it all off (I like to have it all in the bag by the end of November. Then I don't stress out.)

Last year, Adam was able to come with me, and we filled two trolleys. Granted, we had some big stuff in there, skateboards, and Tonka trucks and doll prams and the like. No one really looked at us, because, well, we could just be two people who didn't know each other with a full trolley each. No biggie. There were lots of people like that.

This year, Adam couldn't get off work. So, I had the smallies sat, and after the three older ones were at school, armed with my list, the catalogue and a pen, I braved it on my own.

I had to stop three times to repack my cart. I also managed to stick a blackboard under it and use it as an extension to pile more stuff on. I did well, I got all but a few items on our list. This year, we also got the kids bikes and I had to get a staff member to carry them to the layby counter for me. I was prepared for all this. It comes with the territory.

What I wasn't prepared for, were the condescending looks that people kept giving me, obviously thinking I was completely over indulging my kids. 10 presents each, they had in my cart. That's 50 items people. With boxes bigger than necessary for the small thing inside it. I had also bought gifts for my niece, my mother, and a couple of things for Adam.

I decided, by the end of my 2 hour trip, that next year, I'm wearing a sign that says I HAVE FIVE CHILDREN... DO NOT JUDGE ME. I was sick and tired of explaining myself to people, either because of they way they looked at me, or because they actually felt it was their place to comment. And then of course, I had to cope with the "Oh my God, you're crazy" comments.

So, peoples, next time you're shopping at Christmas time and you see a parent with their trolley piled impossibly high, please realise that they may not just be shopping for 1 spoilt child. There may be another 4, 5, 6 kids that you don't see.

Also, read this. You might get where I'm coming from.

The Story of Us... Readers Digest Version

2008-07-22T11:04:00.016+09:30

I was thinking today (a dangerous past time, I know... name that movie) and I realised, that I haven't really introduced my family, or myself, here.

I sent an email to Susie a while back, doing just that, so I thought, save writing it all out again, I'd use that... editing where needed.

~~~

I realised I've been leaving comments around the place talking to you like I've known you for ages, which I tend to do with people after being introduced, probably in some desperate attempt to allow all of us to feel comfortable without all the 'I've just met you, you've just met me, what do we have in common' awkwardness. But I was thinking, that, over the Internet, it might very well come across as nothing short of creepy, so I thought I might try and remedy that, if it is in fact the case.

My name, obviously, is Jenny (not Jennifer... I would have to ignore you if you called me that... and I have a few very amusing anecdotes involving teachers on the subject) I'm 28 and I am married to Adam who turns 30 in November. (Want to come to a Toga party?) We met in grade 12, in Tasmania, Australia and have been together ever since. We were a very cute couple, and still are, even if we are a little.... wider than we were. We have been together for 11 years, and celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary in June.

This was us around our first Christmas, 1997.

and then, you know, life happened...

This is our adorable selves.... Though Adam has lost weight since this, and I removed the glitter star from my face. I just realised that this picture is actually a year and a half old now. Wow. We need to take more pictures.

We are on the worship ministry of our church here in Palmerston, Northern Territory. Adam plays guitar, sings and leads when needed, I lead worship most Sundays. In order to do this every Sunday, we are very blessed to have friends who keep an eye on our brood...

Troy is the eldest, and he's 8. I do not know where he learnt this, but it was not from us. And amazingly, this is the only half descent picture I have of him. It is also a bit old. But he either completely hams it up or gives the most appalling idea of a posed smile I have ever seen. I shall spare you that disturbing image. Because I like you. And I do not want to frighten you away.

These are last years school photos of the twins (are you seeing a pattern here?) Drew is older by 7 minutes, a fact which I am sure will become vital information as they get older. Bethany did a complete face plant the night before school photos... but of course! We actually thought at the time that she had shattered her upper gum-slash-jaw or at the very least torn her lip away from her face it was that mangled, but thankfully it was just bloody. Really, really bloody. Oh, and they turned five in March.

Is this not the cutest, albeit putrid, face? She does get bathed at least weekly. This is Amy, and she is the most delightful little thing. She thinks playing in the clothes dryer is the epitome of Shangrilah, and she loves to dance. She takes her nappy off. You can imagine my joy at this. It is not the most de;lightful thing about her, by any stretch of the imagination. Amy just turned 2 on July 1st. This picture is also (you've guessed it) old. We get to let of firecrackers for her birthday, because it's Territory Day and I do believe we are the only state in Oz that actually still permits personal firecrackers. Amy was named by Troy. Seriously. When we told him and the other two that there was another baby on the way, Troy answered with "It's a girl, and her name is Amy." We could not shake him from that, he was steadfast. We had no idea what we were having. Mum asked me once, "what would happen if you had a boy?" "I'd be in big trouble," I replied. So, when she was born (that's a whole other post... I will just say one thing about it... insane) and she was, indeed a girl, there was no question as to her name. She and Troy have a beautiful bond, too, it's so sweet to watch.

Can you believe this is the only kind of up to date picture I have of my youngest? It was taken on my crappy camera phone... as our camera kicked the bucket with a flourish, so we haven't had one since before he was born. I did take photos of them about 5 months ago on Adam's work camera, but has yet to e-mail them to me. Eli is gorgoeus. He sits, and crawls, and blabbers on... can sort of stand, and likes to gum cookies. He's not very well at the moment though. He's prone to brocilitis, so we think he'll have asthma when he's older.

So, that's mia familiga.

Personally, I was brought up in a christian home, and became a christian around 6 years of age, and then reconfirmed when I was 12. I've been a part of my church since I was 15, when I started to go on my own after my parents separated that year. God has me in an interesting place right now, pushing into Him deeper is definitely exhausting, but reaping so much! I have such a desire to let people know what they mean to God's heart. I have been carefully (and under guidance) growing in my gifts of discernment and possibly intercession (though I am still praying for tongues), and allowing God to speak through me and into the hearts of his children. Sometimes, when we are praying for people, I ask God to let me see His heart for them, sometimes He does and then, if I feel the urging of the Holy Spirit, I will impart it, usually while thinking "Gosh I hope this is right!". I've not had anyone more mature in their gift correct me yet, so that's encouraging.

Adam and I write songs. Well, we write bits of songs. I think we've only managed to finish one. We have some awesome verses and choruses... but none of them actually go together to complete a final outcome. We really should sit down one day and finish them. My greatest desire is to see God glorified through worship... to see His name praised and proclaimed, and also to lead His people into the throne room... to guide them and help them get to that place where they can be free to dance before him without fear, awkwardness or self concern. I am constantly making sure my pride is in check... most often it's not... which bites the big one, and to be brutally honest, I really don't know how to overcome it. Trying to find that balance between acknowledgment of talent and pride in it is so tough. Finding the balance between that sounded great and we sounded great is also hard. But, I'll keep on keeping on... dying to self is such a continual thing... sometimes I wish it would just let up a bit already, but every time I think I've finally got it, God gently reminds me that I haven't and to keep going. I get lots of heavenly nudges.

I like to knit, embroider, sew and I'm teaching myself to crochet. I've been arty-farty my whole life, and I love the theatre also. I didn't learn to drive until I was 24, and if someone gave me a million dollars the first thing I would do would be to book a breast reduction. If I couldn't sing, I wouldn't know what to do with myself, I wish I didn't rely on the spell checker so much and I'd love to re-learn the piano. I'd love to learn interior design, record a c.d, go to Europe, learn how to shut my mouth before saying embarrassing things, and keep my house clean. I'm a lazy perfectionist, which basically means if I can't do it right and complete it all in one hit, then I won't start. You can imagine what this does to my house. Yet another thing to overcome! At least most of this problem is easily disposed of into a Salvos bin. *grin* I have more than a normal touch of O.C.D, and Adam still thinks it hilarious that I brush the fringes on rugs so they are straight and aren't all messed up and arrrgghhh! *eye twitch*

Anyways, before I go and rock in the corner thinking about tousled rug fringe, I'll stop writing. You may breathe a sigh of relief if you wish. *smile*

I truly hope you think you could like me. De-lurking not only welcomed, but encouraged!*grin*

Act Your Age

2008-07-20T13:07:00.003+09:30

I believe that over the last 6 months to a year or so, the Lord has been calling christians the world over to grow up. To quit playing around. I feel he has placed an urgency in some of us, that makes us realise that we have wasted so much time already!

I feel He's been calling us deeper into Himself... He's given us a hunger for His Word and His Truth, an insatiable desire to learn, to understand, to grow.

I've seen it in friends, here at home and those on line. There has been a shift in focus, in thoughts, in priorities.

I know myself the Lord has been calling me to go Deeper and deeper... to let go of the controll that I feel I need within our relationship. To truly soak in the Word, and gain more and more knowledge of to who He actually is.

Something big is happening, I and I want... no, I need to be ready.

Dekku

2008-07-18T11:02:00.002+09:30

I stumbled across this blog yesterday, and spent the better part of it looking at some of the short film videos he (I'm presuming it's a he) has on there. I thought I'd share two of them, as I liked them particularly, for completely different reasons. The first made me laugh out loud, the second... well, I'll let the second speak for itself. It was the one I particularly wanted to share, as it gave me pause, to say the very least. I wasn't sure where it was going, but I don't think it was there. Incredibly moving.

RooDouDou This was my house the other day, I'm sure.

The Mirror This evoked such mixed emotions.

*Please note, if you go to the site and do your own perusing, that I haven't seen everything, and so I can't endorse them as family friendly. Please view at your own discretion.

Enchanted Door

2008-07-17T14:09:00.007+09:30

I love these. I think they are adorable.

It's a little tiny "Fairy Door". You put them in your house so the Faeries can come in.

I'd love one. I love the magical-ness of it...

But at the same time, it seems another way to let the demonic easy access to our homes. Their very own door?

What are your thoughts? Harmless charming fun? Or a gateway to trouble?

"Keep on, then, with your magic spells and with your many sorceries, which you have labored at since childhood. Perhaps you will succeed, perhaps you will cause terror. Isaiah 47:12

But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death." Revelation 21:8

The Faith of Children

2008-07-13T12:54:00.008+09:30

It is interesting to see the way my children perceive God, and are coming to their own conclusion as to who He is and journey towards relationship with Him.

Troy is going to be our Spiritual Warrior, I believe. From a very young age, he has been keenly aware of the spiritual world; he can see demons, and God has displayed Himself to Troy in ways we know he could not have heard about elsewhere. He is musical in such a way that he picks up a song in no time flat, and you can hear him singing praise songs throughout the day. He will sit and watch a praise and worship dvd for it's entirety, singing along very quickly with the words. He actually, at the tender age of 7 got up on the platform at church and sang a whole song (into a microphone) with the worship team with no embarrassment or fear. Interestingly, his name, Troy Alexander, means Foot-soldier, Defender of Men. I believe this to mean that here on earth, he will be on the ground, fighting the battle at the front lines, defending mankind from demonic influence and oppression. I pray this for him, and that God will help him live up to the name He gave him.

Bethany, I think, is going to be the quiet, yet firm believer. Her faith will not waiver, and her God will never be questioned. Her name, Bethany Alana, means House of God and Rock respectively. My prayer for her is that she truly will be the house of the Holy Spirit, and that he resides in her fully. I also pray that she will stay as solid as a rock in her faith, and that people will know that when she speaks, she speaks the Word of Truth.

Amy is our worshiper. She can pick a christian song from a secular song in a heartbeat. From the age of 8 months, she was lifting her hands in worship during church. She still does it now, even at home, when we have music going. She claps, and dances and cheers. It makes my own heart sing to see her so free in her love of worship at such a tender age (2)

Eli's life was prohesyed by God Himself. I was driving one day, when the twins were only really little, and I heard, clear as day "You will have a son. His name is Eli Benjamin". That was all. I never heard it again, but it burned it's way into my heart so profoundly I can still hear the voice of my God, even though Eli is now here. I've done a little bit of research, and correct me if I am wrong here, but I believe that in the Bible, whenever the Lord spoke to a parent about the birth of a son (and named him in some areas) that child has always grown up to become a prophet. If I am correct- how exciting! What a huge burden for me, as a mother, to make sure I parent him in a way (with the help of the Lord) that this becomes a reality. Eli Benjamin means Highest Son of My Right Hand. That floored me completely when I read that. This small baby of mine has a huge name to live up to.

However, of all my children, it seems that Drew is the one who will have a deep, abiding love of Christ and the gospel that is unparalleled. God saw fit to name him Drew William: Manly, Strong Warrior. I am strongly inclined to think him our evangelist, teacher or preacher, as just today, I overheard him talking to Bethany saying "Jesus is coming back, but not yet""Why?" questioned Beth"Because He died, but he's alive again, but He's not here yet""When?""Don't know... just not yet."

Oh, you have no idea how it warms my heart to hear my child have that surety that not now, but sometime! He doesn't mind when... he just knows He will.

Somedays, it just hits you, the overwhelming, heavy task and burden we have placed upon us to raise these children for God.

Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. Malachi 2:15

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him. Genesis 18:19

God is very specific that we should rear children in the faith of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and in the Lord Jesus Christ and his saving, atoning Grace. Parents' failure to raise and teach their children in the fear of the Lord is a sin of ommission for which we will be held accountable at judgement.

At that time I will carry out against Eli everything I spoke against his family—from beginning to end. For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them. Therefore, I swore to the house of Eli, 'The guilt of Eli's house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.' 1 Samuel 3:12-14

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Romans 1:21

Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Revelation 2:4

How humbling. How devestating! Not only do we have their earthly lives as our responsibility, but also, to an extent, their eternal lives as well. We are not alone though! We have promises to cling to...

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

It is exceedingly comforting to me that I have the Lord, the Father God to help me raise his children, the next generation of worshipers and warriors. Daily, I can lean on HIm, and have Him guide me. He knows my children more intimately thatn even I, and He knows what penetrates to them, that resounds to them... what will guide them what will nurture them, what will raise them up as disciples.

And He is also the One that quiets my soul, stills my temper, and guides my tongue. He who checks my spirit when I fail, is also the One who forgives me with open arms when I come, broken, dejected, weary and, quite frankly, over it. He is the lifter of my head, all the strength I require on this path He has placed me.

Oh that I will prove worthy! That my children will be pillars of strength in His Church. That they will go forth with the Sword of the Spirit, the sword that is a double edged sword that penetrates to the depths, that it's held high and with pride. I pray the helmet of salvation will be firmly on their head, protecting their minds and ears from the arrows of the Enemy. That the that the belt of truth be tightly fastened around their waist, securing the breastplate of Righteousness in place. That the breastplate is so thick that there is no way the arsenal of Satan can wound or scar their heart or soul, and that the knot on their belt is so tight that the Truth cannot fall away from them. And that on their feet are the sandals of the peace of the Good News in preperation for battle and the journeys they take the non-believing on towards Saving Grace. And, of course, that they have in place the Shield of Faith to go before, to be the first thing that takes the onslaught... that it will be solid and inpenetratable... and that they have the strength to lift it and keep it in front of them.

In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy. Acts 2:17-18

*All emphasis mine

And the moving continues... sort of

2008-07-11T10:31:00.008+09:30

We've moved out of the old house, and now we just have to sort out the new one, to fit us all in.

My body ACHES. Today, I am doing absolutely nothing, save going to the shops to pich up a layby and redirect mail and turn off power. Tomorrow, we get stuck in.

On the upside, cleaning gives one a bunch of time to ponder things upon which to study. So many interesting things went through my head, I only wish I had a pen handy to write them down, because I'm sure I've forgotten most of them.

One that stuck in my head though, was about King David. I love him. He is so... normal! I love how he writes about every gammet of emotion. I think we'd get along alright, ol' Dave and me.

I was listening to my Sons of Korah c.d... if you have not heard of them, they sing the psalms. They put them to the most beautiful music, and it is the best way to learn the psalms, and have the Word permiate your home. My eldest, Troy, thinks it is the most awesome thing, to sit down with the Bible and follow along with the words.

Anyway, so I was listening to Psalm 35 and I remembered my pastor saying once that when praying for your enemies, it shouldn't be one like "Oh Lord... Please, make them die a long and painful death, and please let me be there to see it" and then I heard this part of the psalm...

May those who seek my life be disgraced and put to shame;
may those who plot my ruin be turned back in dismay.
May they be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the Lord driving them away;
may their path be dark and slippery, with the angel of the Lord pursuing them.
Since they hid their net for me without cause and without cause dug a pit for me,
may ruin overtake them by surprise— may the net they hid entangle them,
may they fall into the pit, to their ruin.

Then my soul will rejoice in the Lord and delight in his salvation.

Psalm 35:4-9 (emphasis mine)

Don't you just love it?

Of course, theologically, there is probably something very righteous about what David is feeling, but I'd like to think it was his poetical way of saying "long and painful, please. And if You could work it that I could watch? Ever so grateful, thanks!"

You know, like the rest of us mere mortals.

(I don't know why my paragraphs aren't coming up. Please excuse the difficult to read mess)

Are you game?

2008-07-06T16:01:00.002+09:30

Live your life in such a way

that when your feet hit the floor in the morning,

Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."

~Author unknown~

Still here... just busy

2008-07-06T00:52:00.001+09:30

I've posted the next list of 100 things I love about my husband over there on the left under his lovely face.

Are You getting What You're Asking For?

2008-07-01T22:04:00.007+09:30

Before a girl's turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics. And this is how she would go to the king: Anything she wanted was given her to take with her from the harem to the king's palace. In the evening she would go there and in the morning return to another part of the harem to the care of Shaashgaz, the king's eunuch who was in charge of the concubines. She would not return to the king unless he was pleased with her and summoned her by name.

When the turn came for Esther (the girl Mordecai had adopted, the daughter of his uncle Abihail) to go to the king, she asked for nothing other than what Hegai, the king's eunuch who was in charge of the harem, suggested. And Esther won the favor of everyone who saw her. She was taken to King Xerxes in the royal residence in the tenth month, the month of Tebeth, in the seventh year of his reign.

Now the king was attracted to Esther more than to any of the other women, and she won his favor and approval more than any of the other virgins. So he set a royal crown on her head and made her queen instead of Vashti.
Esther 2:12-17 (emphasis mine)

It crossed my mind today, that Esther was one smart girl.

While other girls asked for (I'm presuming) jewelery, clothes, perfume and all other things that they liked and thought beautiful (and wanted to keep if they were sent to the Harem), Esther sought the council of someone who knew the king and his preferences, and then asked only for those things that would please the king.

And then it struck me... when I'm presenting my never ending lists of things I 'need' (read: want) are they things that I find pleasing, or that I think God wants me to have, or do, or whatever; or things that I know that the Lord finds perfect and beautiful and needful? Am I asking for empty things of no worth, or things that are everlasting and fully satisfying? Things that I can store up in Heaven? Or things that will perish away here on eath at the End? Do my requests please Him, or grieve Him?

How I long to only ask the Lord for the desires I have that I know are placed there by Him! So that when I arrive in Heaven, I am crowned as one who pleased Him, and sought to be thought beautiful by only Him.

Want Something for Free?

2008-06-29T09:33:00.003+09:30

I'm not sure how many people come by here, but I want two entries to win THE MOST ADORABLE BAG ON THE PLANET, so I'm linking to her.

Go and stick your own entry in. You have just today. And it's 8pm where she is right now. So get a wriggle on!

Family Fun Night

2008-06-27T10:15:00.005+09:30

Troy turned 8 yesterday. Wow.

We went ten pin bowling, and I wish we owned a camera. It was hillarious. Drew and Bethany's balls were so agonisingly slow down the lane, because basically, they put it on the ground and pushed. Watching their pins fall, as my brother Rob put it, was like watching an octogenerian lay down from standing up. Funniest thing about it was that they ended up with pretty good scores.

Troy managed to bowl a strike. Man, that kid knows how to celebrate. I think the professional bowlers (talk about making you feel lame) in the lane next to us thought it was pretty cool too.

We'll definately do it again. It was a fairly expensive little outing, $50 for three kids and three adults, but I think judging by the lights in the kids eyes, we'll have to afford it more often. I asked Rob who he thought was having the most fun, the kids, or the adults watching the kids. We couldn't quite decide.

Highlights included:
Troy throwing the ball behind him
Me falling over
Rob managing to get a gutter ball with the bumpers up
The look of pride in Drews face when he got a spare when he only had one pin to hit
The way Bethany would jump up and down as her ball slooooowly made it's way down the lane
Adam's 3 strikes and 4 spares (he's so chuffed)
Eli laughing and giggling the whole time
Amy trying to stand up, but was standing on her dress, so she headbutted the floor three times.

You so wish you were there.

Works For Me Wednesday (1st edition)

2008-06-26T12:28:00.006+09:30

Ok, so it's actually Thursday here, but I have to wait for the rest of the world to the west to catch up.

This isn't very revolutionary, but my brain is fried, and it's all I can think of.

I mentioned that we are moving. I did not mention how much I loathe doing laundry. Especially on top of packing and painting and cleaning. So, I spent one day doing all the laundry, and then packed everything into suitcases and boxes, leaving everyone with about three outfits each for the last two weeks, including church clothes. (I should add it's semester break here, so they don't have to go to school.) Saves me having to stay on top of the laundry as well as everything else. Works for Me!

Once Upon a Time

2008-06-24T16:16:00.008+09:30

There was a couple of kids who fell in love. They got married. They had kids.

Lots of kids. Well, not lots as in Duggar lots, but 5 is considered 'gluttony for punishment' by most people who ask the loaded question.

In four more sleeps, this family of seven is moving. We've been in this house for 4 years now, and so we have amassed some considerable... stuff. I thought about keeping a running total on how many bags of stuff was given to the opportunity shop, and how many garbage bags were added to the landfill, but I gave up. Needless to say, we have entirely restocked a Red Cross Shop, just about, and added at least a million years to the decomposition process.

Oh yes. I have been harsh.

I've had to be. In an effort to cut down on costs (because we like to eat, it's a bad habit, I know), and also to help my mother out, because she's going to the UK for 2 years, we are moving our boisterous children out of a house that is starting to feel a little snug into a cottage half the size. And no backyard

*Pause for dramatic effect*

Wait... what's that sound? Oh, that's me in the corner, sucking my thumb and whimpering.

The good thing about mum's place is that it comes with oodles and oodles of built in closets, which is always a plus. The house we are in now has tiny wardrobes in the bedrooms and that is it. No linen cupboard, nadda. However, mums little abode has a kitchen with no pantry and only the under counter cupboards. But there are shelves on the wall, so all is not lost. Although Lilliput did call, they want their kitchen back.

It also gives me an excuse to purchase the buffet hutch I've had my eye on for about 6 moths. And baskets to keep all my food in on the shelves in an effort to keep the kids out of it long enough to actually cook with it.

Back on topic, we've been packing, or attempting to pack, for the last two months. After putting most of the stuff we are keeping into boxes, and then piling it all against the big wall in the lounge room, we're actually wondering why our house was always so messy... there really isn't that much stuff. Either a) all our stuff was on the floor at the same time, b) I've purged 25% of our house or c) I am a MEAN pack rat.

I'm thinking it's d) a combination of all of the above.

I'm on the home stretch now. All that's left are piles of miscellaneous things that we're keeping, but either don't have a category, or there's not enough of it to warrant it's own box. I'm loath to make a Miscellaneous Box, as in my experience (and I am very experienced at moving) misc. boxes are the ones that never get completely put away, but rather rummaged through from time to time, making a mess, until you are 11 years into a relationship and marriage *ahem* and you have stuff that you can't remember why you even remotely thought it was worthwhile keeping, let alone carting from one end of the country to another,

And no... hubby is not in that box.

To the Furniture People who left that comment on Angie's Blog

2008-06-23T01:45:00.002+09:30

Just so you know, you posted a comment about baby cots and the like on the blog of a woman who lost her baby daughter at birth 10 weeks ago.

You may want to go and apologise. I'm sure it made her cry.

Next time, please check the content of a blog with the picture of a baby on it before posting to avoid unintentional heartache.

Thankyou.

1 Peter 3:3-6

2008-06-20T23:28:00.006+09:30

Hey God.

Hey Jen.

How's things.

Fine... What is it?

How'd You know?

I know everything

Yeah... read that. Don't You do small talk?

That would be evading the issue.

Is it really that obvious?

You've been doing it for the last 28 years; there are tell-tale signs

I've been pondering something.

Yes, I know

About what Peter said about true beauty?

I like that passage. My daughters should heed it more

You know the gentle and quiet spirit part?

Yes

I don't have one

No, you don't

I want one

Really?

You know I do. But You did not give me one up front

No, I didn't

You could have

That is true

But You didn't

No, I didn't

Why not?

So you could cultivate it

Why can't you just give it to me? You could You know.

But then what would you learn?

It also would have been a lot easier if true beauty did come from pretty hair, jewelery and fine clothes

But then what would your worth be?

But it's the desire of my heart! You said You give us those

Even your desires must come with a lesson, dear heart. I do not give gifts that are less than perfect for you

Why is this what you find of great worth?

I like Myself to be easily found. Where the gentle spirit is, there I am. Where there is quiet, I can speak. Outside adornments are loud, and I cannot be heard over them.

It's not exactly glamorous though, nor obviously beautiful

For whom else but Me do you need to be beautiful?

Gentle and Quiet aren't the norm, You know

I don't ask you to be of the world

Yeah, about that... I don't want to be a doormat. The world says quiet and gentle get walked over and have no voice

Sarah had a voice. You are her daughter. I do not ask you to do things that are impossible with Me

But it's hard!

I will help You. All you need to do is ask

I'm thinking asking for a gentle and quiet spirit is a dangerous thing to do. It's in the same category as Why I Don't Pray for Patience.

Then you will not grow. I cannot use someone unwilling

It's not that I'm unwilling, Lord.

Then what would you call it?

... Lazy. Cultivating that spirit requires me to pay attention and watch myself. Watch my tongue.

Stubborn. I want to be right all the time. A gentle and quiet spirit does not argue the point.

Disobedient. You have asked this of me. I am choosing to say no.

Lord?

Yes?

I'm sorry. I have not cultivated that which You find great in worth. Please, forgive me

It is already done.

Lord?

Hmmm?

That spirit was in there form the beginning, wasn't it? That's why I want it to be better.

Yes, daughter Mine. You are truly beautiful to me, and you will only grow more so.

You're so clever. Will I ever make it?

I started a good work in you. It will be completed. You will grow and mature and nurture that spirit. You will be a beacon to young women who desire My Love. They will want what you have. They will see that you are who I called you to Be without fear or anxiousness. They will see My face in your gentleness. They will hear My voice in your quiet. You will be Sarah; a spiritual mother to many... encouraging them in their beauty.

Lord, I have so far to go before then

It will be done on time

I fear I will disappoint You

All you need do is start

I should get a wriggle on

You have taken the first vital steps

You'll come with?

Always

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

What to do, what to do...

2008-06-20T11:58:00.004+09:30

I'm thinking blogsphere needs another mummy-blog like it needs a hole in the head, but truly, it's about the only thing I'm qualified to write about.

However, after pondering, I think the things this blog wants to write are my thoughts on God, and where He is leading me, being a wife, being a mother, beng a child of the King, life, my walk as I seek to better myself in certain areas, and a bucket full of laughs, coz, gosh my kids are funny.

Hope you stick around. Life is a party that never quits in this house.

It's my first time

2008-06-17T15:21:00.007+09:30

So be gentle with me.

I've been posting on Xanga for so long, it's taking a little getting used to around these parts. (Can you see those spanner&wrench icons, and that pencil, or is it just me?) I still, for the moment, post there the most. I made this site as more and more people are needing to put sign in requirements for commenting. (Which I completely understand.)

I'm not sure what will come of this site. But for now, it's here, getting comfy and deciding what to do. I couldn't stand for it to be sad and lonely without pictures and a welcome message, with only a "go here" post, so I had to dress it up a little.

If you would like to come and say hi- and I would love you too!- This is where I am at home.

Righteous Paths

Just a Reminder...

Transition

GEORGIA

This is the Song That Never Ends

Wordless Wednesday

MONDAY MEANDERINGS DOWN MEMORY LANE ~The Make-up Bag

Srsly?

ROOM 101

TOW-MAY-TOE/ TOM-ART-OH

FOR MY SIXTH, AT TEN WEEKS

BRONZE, POTTERY, LINEN & CLEMANTIS

RED NOSE DAY

SHINER

Prayer Chain

Blank

I Love a Sunburnt Country...

Eli...

My Kid is Awesome.

Brown Paper Packages Tied Up With String...

This, that and the other...

What's in a name?

*ahem* Hi.

Just Ducking In...

Troy 1-100

A Thousand Times, I Love You

It's Raining, It's Pouring

(not quite) Mass Mayhem

Because I Like Nothing Better Than Deadlines, and the Whooshing Noise They Make as They Go Past.

Yes, Well...

Christmas Cleaning

Home is Heaven

Tis the Season...

Thanks and a Reward... kind of.

Crazy Love Chapter 8: Profiles of the Obsessed

Now more than ever...

*SNEEZE*

Death in the Family

Becoming Prince Charming

So Many Things

Shameless begging

I do Crazy constantly

Adieu 2008

It's Christmas Eve

The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking

Martha Stewart's Christmas Holiday To-Do List

Be near me, Lord Jesus

Possibly TMI, but anyway...

From My Corner to Yours

Here I am, Send me...

I Kid You Not, This Conversation Took Place

Being a Responsible Pet Owner SUX

Come on over, Come on Over Baby

So, you know that thing I was supposed to be doing this week?

We Interupt the Regular Scheduled Programming

Make Your Home a Haven.... week

I never was one to stick to anything

For the moment...

Oh my gosh, You will not believe what has been happening around here.

I have been around

I'm Quirky.

Grief.

Don't Judge Me

The Story of Us... Readers Digest Version

Act Your Age

Dekku

Enchanted Door

The Faith of Children

And the moving continues... sort of

Are you game?

Still here... just busy

Are You getting What You're Asking For?

Want Something for Free?

Family Fun Night

Works For Me Wednesday (1st edition)

Once Upon a Time

To the Furniture People who left that comment on Angie's Blog

1 Peter 3:3-6

What to do, what to do...

It's my first time

ahem Hi.

SNEEZE